When a Jet Blue flight attendant grabbed a couple of beers, took a step, and slid out from under the humdrum routine of his job last week, it sparked fantasies among more than a few of us—in the back recesses of our dark little minds—of doing the same thing. We experienced guilty pleasure, but only from a safe distance, because you and I are the lucky ones to have a job, even if that means an idiot for a boss or a lousy commute.

The story about Steven Slater and his response to a passenger on a Jet Blue flight that swore at him and hit his forehead with the door of an overhead compartment has hit a nerve with many of us. We’ve all felt the exasperation that comes from not being heard, not being appreciated, and not being respected.

Part of us root for the underdog here, but there’s a reason we keep those thoughts in the dark recesses of our mind.  The point at which we let a negative emotion control our behavior is not a pretty picture. It leads to responses that are both unattractive and destructive. In the worst scenario it can lead to violence; even in the best, it leads to broken relationships.

My bet is that tension had been building up inside Steven Slater for a long time. Like all of us, he could choose how to respond to the frustrating and insulting situation on Jet Blue. He chose a knee-jerk reaction that cost him his dignity and his job. But he could have taken the high road, instead of a meltdown that led to the road to unemployment, if he had taken the time to realize that his response could have been predicted, and therefore, changed. By looking at similar situations in the past, and discovering his patterns of behavior, he could have recognized the undesirable ones before they sabotaged his career, and chosen a better alternative. (more…)