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Archive for the ‘default’ Category
Monday, August 8th, 2011
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 Image by johanoomen via Flickr
We all admire the way James Bond keeps his cool in any situation. By anticipating where the threats will come from, he can keep his eye on the ultimate goal. It’s a formula that leads to success. If only we could predict people’s behavior like a spymaster, we tell ourselves, we could accomplish great things, too.
But let me share a secret: there’s a little James Bond in all of us. All you need to do is carefully observe the people around you—particularly those on your team—and they will tell you everything you need to know about loyalty, hidden messages, and deception.
The Importance of a Good Surveillance
As an FBI counterintelligence Agent, the first thing I did was put the targets of my investigations under surveillance. You may be thinking that I was hoping to catch the foreign spies I was investigating stealing classified information.
That can, and does, happen—occasionally.
But I put every one of my targets under surveillance for another reason: I wanted to identify their patterns of behavior. Humans have always looked for patterns. From navigating by the stars, planting crops by season, or decoding genetics—we have a desire to understand, and therefore, predict the future.
The better you understand the behavioral patterns of people around you, the more you know about what motivates them. The more you know about what motivates them, the better you can predict their choices.
Tricks of the Trade
It doesn’t take training at the FBI Academy to learn how to observe behavior and identify patterns. You can learn to do this on your own. Once you do, you will also be able to more accurately predict behavior—even your own. Once you recognize your own patterns of behavior, it will help you recognize them in others.
Here are a few of the more useful tricks of the trade:
 Image via Wikipedia
1. Spontaneous Remarks
Gut reactions are always close to home.Top-of-the-head responses reveal the location of strong mental connections.
Unexpected, or even stressful, situations often reveal dominant traits. If properly observed and understood, they can explain much of our behavior. Daily life provides hundreds of opportunities to observe how people respond to little doses of stress.
When it comes to learning the tricks of surveillance, start with yourself – It will make it easier to notice what to look for in others. Let’s use the following scenario:
You have a busy day—schedule is full, wrapping up projects before 3-day weekend. An employee with a project on deadline calls in sick, what is your first reaction?
- How are they doing—empathic and concerned
- How will the job get done—goal oriented
- Who is going to fill-in—organized and structured
- Are they looking to make this a 4-day weekend—naturally wary and suspicious
- Not worried because it will all work out—an optimist who looks for the best in situations
- Why didn’t I know about this sooner—need for control
Notice these gut reactions in yourself – now notice how someone in your team reacts when confronted with a similar situation. If they don’t tell you, ASK!
2. Notice Behaviors
Taking the time to think clearly after an event has triggered a response is critical. This provides an opportunity to notice feelings and use them as a reminder of how you respond in different situations.
- Always pay attention - Make a habit of paying attention to what surprises you, what makes you feel anxious, and what makes you feel good about yourself.
- Never cease collecting information - Where do you not want to listen, where do you insist on taking the opposite point of view, when is your reaction out of proportion?
- There is always more to learn - As we keep digging and exploring our potential, we uncover our true self. Looking for specifics will help you pinpoint behaviors.
3. Recognize Patterns
 Image by Donald Clark via Flickr
We are creatures of habit. We repeat our patterns of behavior without thinking about them. The most effective way to become aware of these patterns is by looking back with hindsight at our responses to events and situations. As time goes on, we can notice the particular instances when we were panicked, stressed, or angry.
Deliberately step back from your on-going activities and take some time to think about them. Ask yourself questions about your experiences:
- Were you happy with your reaction?
- Do you always react the same way in certain situations?
- What could have made this a better experience?
- Did you achieve what you had hoped for?
- What would you do differently next time?
- What surprised you about your emotion?
As you continue to practice noticing your feelings in various situations and noting whether your response was in your best interests, you can begin to pull the thread of your behavior pattern.
We can stop negative traits if we take the time to notice where they show up in our life. Once you learn the basics of surveillance, you can start observing the behavioral patterns in others as well.
What patterns of behavior in yourself have you noticed? Can you predict when negative traits will show up again? How do spontaneous remarks help you decipher what people are really thinking?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: Behavior, communication, coping with stress, deception, gut reactions, hidden messages, James Bond, motivation, observing behavior, patterns of behavior, predict behavior, Psychology, Success |
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Monday, August 1st, 2011
 Image via Wikipedia
I took my dog, Gus, for a walk a couple of weeks ago. We were on a local trail and he was wandering around off-leash sniffing at every bush and tree. We were almost home. Gus was ahead of me when I heard a growl. I looked up and saw a pit bull coming down the path toward him. Frantic, I called out to Gus and tried to think of ways I could protect him. Pit bulls are dangerous. Right?
As it turned out, the pit bull’s owner was right behind him and held onto his collar as we passed. The growl was nothing more than a grouchy attitude—he sniffed Gus and walked on.
I just profiled a breed of dog and made a generalization—pit bulls are dangerous. And yet how many of us cringe at the thought of our toddler, or twenty-two pound dog, being left alone with one?
Generalizations
We all generalize. We have to. Imagine if we dealt with specifics all the time. It would be nearly impossible to function. Our daily activities would take forever because we wouldn’t be able to narrow down possibilities and options.
Generalizations are conclusions we come to so fast that we do not have time to think about it. They make our lives easier to manage because they make risk assessment easier. By looking at the behavioral patterns of people—or dogs—we can pinpoint trends, and the more those trends are reinforced, the more accurately we can predict behavior.
The Perils of Profiling
As an FBI Agent, I became very sensitized to the issues surrounding profiling. The most common issue is that of trying to match a category of people with specific criminal behaviors. It’s impossible, and the FBI has a firm rule against profiling based on categories. Instead, the FBI focuses on developing profiles based on traits that are specific to people, not categories of people.
 Image via Wikipedia
For example, some criminals will always be nervous, provide conflicting information, use unusual tones of voice, and draw attention with other forms of subtle body language.
And Yet, We All Do It
The problem with profiling, stereotypes, generalizations, or rules of thumb is that we have to choose which factors to leave in and which to leave out. Many times we don’t even know why we make the judgment and yet it’s strong enough that we decide to act upon it.
We all do it. Think about some of the common generalizations you make:
- When lost and asking for directions from a stranger, you’d approach a well-dressed older man in a well-pressed suit and tie rather a young man wearing tattoos and baggy pants.
- Reading a consumer report about a product will lead to a wiser purchase.
- A U.S. inspection label on a toy means authorities have tested it.
- Advertisements can be trusted because there are laws to keep them truthful.
- Fair-skinned people with blond hair are more likely to get skin cancer.
This is a small sampling but the point is this: in general, rules of thumb can help us make good choices—most of the time . . .
Avoid Dangerous Stereotypes
While generalizations are efficient time-savers, they can also be dangerous because we often see what we want to see. Or, what others want us to see. Many times our responses are based on emotional tugs or incomplete information.
How do we know when we’ve made the right generalization?
Here are three ways to help you avoid stereotypes that will not serve you well in decision-making:
1. Make a list of the stereotypes, judgments, generalizations, or rules of thumb that you rely upon. Trace how you came to these conclusions.
- Advertisements – persuaded by the allure of slick ads or clever headlines
- News Sources – a reporter’s opinion on an issue is now your opinion
- Opinion Leader – a person of stature whose opinions you respect
- Experience – your personal experience and observations
These are all efficient ways to gather information. However, ads are meant to create images that will persuade you to buy a product. Reporters are paid to collect information but they are human and see issues through their own lens, and in turn, relay that perspective to the reader. Friends and colleagues have opinions but filter them through their own experiences. Finally, even your own experiences have their limitations because you cannot be everywhere, all the time.
Ask yourself the following questions:
- Is anyone making a profit from my generalizations?
- Is anyone being hurt by my generalizations?
- How could my rules of thumb serve me better?
- Was a form of persuasion used to form my judgments?
2. List generalizations you made about issues/people/topics several years ago. Now compare that list to the same issue/people/topics today—have your generalizations changed over the years? Take a hard look at beliefs you believed to be rock solid in the past and notice where your perceptions have changed and where they have not.
- What caused the change?
- What reinforced your belief?
- How were your generalizations formed?
3. Generalizations are unstable because they change over time. As more information becomes available, make it a habit of educating yourself on what is new and different. Too often, we create a rule of thumb at one point in life and never take the time to re-evaluate its credibility. Times change—and so do you.
- Which generalizations have helped you make smarter choices?
- How important are hunches in setting rules of thumb?
- How do you probe further into issues to make your generalizations?
- Are these rules of thumb can you rely upon in the future?
If we’re aware which generalizations influence our choices and responses, we can identify the ones that help us to react with resilience and accuracy.
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: communication, generalizations, judgments, persuasion, pit bulls, profiling, rules of thumb, snap judgments, stereotypes
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Monday, July 25th, 2011
Recall a time when you are the outsider—trying to find real ways to connect with the crowd, feeling different, and fumbling to find topics of mutual interest.
Crowds can be a lonely place.
They are full of people who are different from us. It’s easier to spend time with others who are similar because they think, say, and do things in a way we understand. Communication and relationship building in comfortable situations take little effort.
Make Meaningful Connections
When we’re the outsiders, it’s not usually the crowd that’s the problem. Difficulties arise when we attempt to drill down and build rapport with individuals, one on one. This is when results can become unpredictable.
If we can’t predict the outcome, we can’t guarantee that we’ve successfully communicated that that individual.
Sometimes it doesn’t matter, but sometimes it does—a new client or a new deal may hinge on whether or not you’ve built rapport and made a meaningful connection.
FBI Lessons
As an FBI counterintelligence agent, the final phase of the recruitment process concentrated on neutralizing my target’s objections and concerns about working for the U.S. government. Invariably, this phase meant meeting my target (the spy I was trying to recruit) face-to-face in an attempt to build trust and rapport.
You may find a similar need to build trust and rapport as you meet a potential partner or new client with the hope of convincing them that joining your team would create value for everyone.
The right communications skills will help you find the links between their goals and values and yours.
People who are successful at creating bonds with others understand that it’s never about them—it’s about the person standing in front of them.
Cultivating the Art of Giving
Effective communication is the talent of giving.
Successful collaborators cannot be selfish; instead, they give their full attention to the other person and make them feel comfortable. The reason is simple: we influence each other through everything we do. In face-to-face conversations, everything becomes more intense and more personal.
The more comfortable a person feels, the more likely they’ll trust you. And when they trust you, they’re more likely to want to do business with you.
Getting Comfortable
Here are ways successful people make others feel comfortable with them:
1. First Impressions
We begin to influence people the minute they see us. It’s important to pay attention to dress and grooming because they are telling a tale long before we open our mouths. They reveal whether or not we still need adult supervision.
Pay attention to the way you dress—it shows good judgment and a respect for others. It also shows whether or not we’re clueless about social conventions.
2. Smile
For a smile to be genuine, the skin needs to crinkle around the eyes. So, for professional reasons—please, no Botox. A fake smile can be spotted a mile away, because while the mouth may be imitating one, if the cheeks don’t push up, you are not being genuine.
Smiles send clear messages about your state of mind. When you meet people, think pleasant thoughts.
Deepen your crow’s feet and call them laugh lines. No one wants to spend time with a grump—or worse, a fake.
3. Gait
The way we walk and the eagerness of our gait lets others know whether or not we care.
The speed and eagerness of your walk lets others know that you know your mind, manage your time, and mean business.
4. Handshake
- Keep in mind that palms up indicate submission while palms down indicate dominance. Make sure your hand is in a vertical position when shaking hands.
- Apply the same pressure you receive.
- Maintain eye contact throughout the handshake.
5. Eye Gaze
Eye contact is extremely important. You are safe as long as your gaze rests upon the person’s eyes, mouth, or chin.
If your gaze comes across as arrogant or too intense, you risk building rapport with the individual.
6. Commonality
Assume you have something in common with the other person. The best negotiators spend approximately half their time finding shared interests with the other party.
- Find their passions. Start with children, travel, or food.
- Uncover a shared interest with the other person. Flit from topic to topic until you find it.
- Prepare for individuals in the crowd by searching social media. You can read their latest thoughts on a variety of topics.
7. Repeat
After listening to a person speak, make sure to repeat a very brief synopsis of what they just said. It alerts the speaker to the fact that you’ve paid close attention and that you’ve followed the points they made.
Use their name in conversation – but only occasionally.
This is also an effective way of listening. Repeating statements or summaries of a conversation helps you to remember the salient points. It also provides an opportunity for any miscommunication in the conversation to be addressed sooner rather than later.
8. Approve
A simple, affirmative, gesture indicates that you’ve been listening and that you agree with their statement. Even if you have an element of disagreement with it, focus on what you do agree with and nod in approval of that aspect of the statement.
Everyone likes to feel as though they’ve been heard, and even if disagreements come up, give the impression that you genuinely listened to their point of view.
9. Tonality
- Match the tone of their voice.
- Talk at their volume levels.
- Pay attention to whether they are soft-spoken or loud.
These are 9 ways that can help you build rapport and make meaningful connections. If we’ve successfully communicated with the other person, we are in a better position to predict their response to us.
What tips can you share on how to build rapport? How does doing business in foreign cultures make a difference in the way we build rapport? How do you know when you’ve effectively communicated your message?
Tags: body language, building trust, communication, communication skills, eye contact, first impressions, handshakes, rapport, rapport building
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Sunday, July 10th, 2011
 Image by chloé.ophelié via Flickr
In desperation, a mother asks social workers to intervene. Her thirteen-year-old daughter is being raped every night by her live-in boyfriend, but when the case is taken to the authorities, their question is, “Are you sure she isn’t fourteen?” You see, in Brazil, sex with girls fourteen and older is considered consensual if they are living under the same roof.
The social workers are forced to admit that in three months, when the girl turns fourteen, it will no longer be their problem. When asked why the mother doesn’t leave the abusive boyfriend, she admits that she’s afraid he will kill both her and her daughter if she does.
City of Hope
This case was documented by Hope Unlimited Brazil, a non-profit organization working with the shantytowns in Brazil known as favelas. Watch this video by Capriole Productions, “City of Hope: A Children’s Story,”
http://www.youtube.com/embed/7VsG1drLWYU
According to Hope Unlimited Brazil officials, this case is not unusual because the age of consent in Brazil is fourteen years and older.
Prostitution is not illegal so many young girls—especially those with no education and living in slums—turn to the world’s oldest profession to make a living.
The Age of Consent
The question that haunts human rights activists and social workers familiar with this situation is this: are fourteen-year-old girls capable of making mature, adult-like decisions? The answer is no. Even in other modern countries where prostitution is legal, the youngest age of consent is usually eighteen.
Sociologists and psychologists agree that the low feelings of self-esteem that result from prostitution are very difficult to overcome. While sexual exploitation and trafficking is illegal in Brazil, pedophiles find they can sexually violate children with impunity because of the arcane prostitution laws that allow children to fall into bondage.
The poverty in which these girls live makes them particularly vulnerable to exploitation.
There is a great disconnect in Brazil. It is estimated that 60% of the people in Brazil live in poverty, and yet it is the world’s 8th largest economy. Bridging the gap between its incredible wealth and abject poverty remains one of Brazil’s greatest challenges.
 Image by David Michael Morris via Flickr
Laws Need To Be Changed
The law should protect all citizens, but if Brazil’s own justice system is lacking, it is overwhelmingly the poor who bear the burden of these abuses. Lack of adequate infrastructure and lack of education are the two primary brakes on Brazil’s emerging economy.
While organizations like City of Hope are on the streets trying to make a difference in the lives of the children living in the shantytowns, real change must begin at the top. Social justice groups need to find ways to work alongside the Brazilian government to change laws that stand up for the rights of children.
Join In
A well-trained and equipped police cannot enforce change if the courts do not have the laws to protect the most vulnerable citizens.
The 2014 World Cup and 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro are excellent opportunities to create awareness of this situation and find ways to let others know, too. Fourteen-year-old girls should be giggling and playing with friends, not working as prostitutes with the blessing of their government.
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: 2016 Olympics, Brazil, child abuse, child prostitutes, low self esteem, poverty, prostitution
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Monday, July 4th, 2011
Article first published on www.linked2leadership.com
Collaborative technologies are changing the way we develop and maintain relationships. While they’re making it easier to stay in touch, they’re also increasing the size of our networks. To get the most out of our growing list of relationships, it’s become essential to build a strategy into our networking.
The need for leaders to manage their information network has always been critical. Fat Rolodexes have been synonymous with extensive networks, and as Rolodexes become more virtual, they become even plumper.
As an FBI counterintelligence agent, creating a strategic network around the foreign spy I was trying to recruit was one of the first steps in my investigation. I took a very methodical approach and carefully planned each stage of my operation.
FBI Counterintelligence Strategy
Building a strategic information network requires its own strategy. Whether you are trying to attract a new client or targeting a spy, the techniques are the same. Let me share with you 7 steps that I found useful in building my strategic network:
1. Diversify your Contacts
Don’t stay in a rut and focus on a group of people with interests similar to your own. Throw a wide net and start staying in touch with people who have a different set of skills from those you normally associate with or who are not now part of your networking circle.
Ideally, your contacts should be different from you and different from one another.
Today, connectivity is blending many technologies, and in the process, opening up opportunities in previously unrelated fields.
Deep connections with people take time and energy. They are essential, but when it comes to building a strategic network, research has found that weak ties are more effective than strong ones. This is the reason: strong ties represent people you already know and probably see quite often.
Weak connections, on the other hand, form bridging ties and help you walk into a world you don’t know.
That new world could be the world in which your new client lives. Weak ties stay that way because neither one of you feel the need to contact each other more than a few times a year.
It’s always been important to have an early warning system that alerts us to a force on the horizon so big that we’re not going to be able to turn it away. It’s impossible to predict where the threat will come from but the forces that will drive change in your world will probably come from outside of it.
Outposts are a group of contacts that live and work on the outskirts of your organization or business and can alert you of change or disruption before it knocks on your door.
Outposts seldom happen by accident. They need to be cultivated and this takes time. These are not contacts with strong ties so you will not be spending a lot of time with them after they’re developed. However, if you build diversity into your strategy, it will be easier to create the various outposts you will need to be forewarned of changes in your world that are coming from outside your field of vision.
4. Engage in Honest Conversations
Never lie to a contact about your motives.
Strategic networks will only work if trust is established. Just as they are an outpost for you, you will be doing the same for them in your world.
Many of the contacts in my information network had innocent reasons for being in touch with the foreign spy I was investigating. Once we understood each other’s goals, it made it easier to carve out where our interests intersected and where they did not. Similarly, build your network around areas of mutual interest by learning their interests and goals.
5. Create Hubs
Some people in your network will be natural connectors—they flourish on networking and establishing relationships. They’re usually outgoing and gregarious. They’re the ones who always seem to know how to get the mix right, whether it’s guests at a dinner party or a recommendation for a new board member. They are your hubs because they make it their business to stay in contact—everyone is a strong tie for them.
Identify the hubs in your community and ask them to connect you with others.
The more hubs you have, the more weaker tie connections you have as well.
6. Surround the Target
Now is the time to put your strategic information network to work. Outposts can help you find a new client—your target. Hubs can provide you with the contacts you need to get next to the target. Chances are good that someone in the hub can reach out to the target.
Stronger ties will need to be developed with the people in direct contact with the potential client or collaborative partner.
The tips I’ve discussed are steps that progressively weave a tighter web around your target—whether it’s a new client or business opportunity. Collaborative technologies make it possible to create even stronger strategies for networking.
How do you use the weak ties in your information network? What do the hubs in your information network look like? How can your outposts be diverse enough to recognize a threat on the horizon? What tips can you share about building strategic information networks?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: attracting customers, business networking, collaborative technologies, information networks, Interpersonal ties, new clients, Social network, strategic networks, weak ties
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Monday, June 27th, 2011
 Image via Wikipedia
Article first published on www.linked2leadership.com
We admire people with inner strength—we make them our heroes and call them by names like John Wayne. Heroes don’t focus on their weaknesses—instead, they develop their strengths so they can respond to unexpected challenges with confidence.
We like heroes with inner strength because life’s challenges bring out the best in them. In the process, they remind us that strength is an inner place we can all find when our backs are against the wall.
What Does A Strong Mind Look Like?
A person with inner strength has the mental skills to confront the challenges of life.
We all have the psychological muscle to do this; we simply need to develop these muscles so that we respond to life’s challenges leading with our strengths and not our weaknesses.
Many leaders don’t take the time to discover and develop their strengths. The reason is this: they’ve been told to focus on their weaknesses so they can overcome them and turn them into positive qualities. The problem with this approach is that there is no strategy to convert your weakness into strength. An alternative is to build your positive qualities to overwhelm your less desirable ones.
Once you shift your focus, you can begin to take ownership of your strengths. You will discover that none of your successes were accidental—they were the result of your talent and skills.
Building Blocks
The secret to a strong mind is self-awareness. Get to know yourself well enough to not only expect, but also control, your response to the unexpected challenges in life.
Here are 3 successful ways to help you build your inner strength:
1. Find your strengths
One of my favorite areas of instruction during my training at the FBI Academy was surveillance. It required that we remain alert and observant so we could identify behavioral patterns in the people under surveillance.
I learned to use surveillance techniques on myself to identify my strengths. It’s impossible to develop your strengths unless you know what they are. I started by paying attention to the activities that drew my interest. I then answered the following questions:
- How long did it take for me to accomplish the activity?
- Did I do it well and did it leave me feeling satisfied?
- Was it time-consuming and leave me drained?
- Did I get so absorbed that I lost track of time?
It can take months for a pattern to emerge, but eventually, one will. By constant observation over time, your dominant strengths will show themselves. Once you find them, you will be able to hone them, and this will place you on the road to building a strong life.
TIP: You must learn how to search for your own patterns of activity that reveal your strengths.
2. Acknowledge your weaknesses
Before I entered the FBI Academy, I had never shot a gun. I discovered I was quite good—I scored high on the bull’s eye target and never let the shotgun’s recoil get the upper hand. The physical fitness portion of my new agent training, however, left something to be desired. I scored near the bottom on everything—when I scored at all . . .
 Image via Wikipedia
My natural reaction told me to focus all my energy on improving my push-ups, pull-ups, 2-mile run – well, everything. As a result, I rarely spent any time on developing my proficiency with firearms. I obsessed over my weaknesses and devoted all my energy into fixing them.
One of my class counselors planted an important seed that has continued to germinate over the years.
Weaknesses are to be managed, not changed. Instead of focusing on what was left out, concentrate on what was left in.
I had spent too much time trying to draw out skills that simply did not exist. Instead, I turned my focus toward developing my strengths. It was not possible for me to ignore my weaknesses because I needed to graduate from the Academy; however, instead of obsessing over them, I learned to manage them.
TIP: Don’t try to overcome a weakness, learn to overwhelm it.
3. Reinforce Your Strong Points
I was required to shoot over three thousands rounds of ammunition while in the FBI Academy. The reason was this: the more I practiced on the firing range, the more confident I would be when confronted with the real situation out on the street.
For a skill to be strength, it must be something that is done with consistency.
The secret to inner strength is being able to replicate moments of success so there is a predictable outcome.
This is why it’s so important to accurately identify the strongest threads in your pattern and reinforce them with training and learning.
TIP: Spend time growing your strong points, not on strengthening your weak ones.
The inner strength that I developed at the FBI Academy had nothing to do with push-ups or shooting a gun. It had to do with finding that my greatest areas of growth would be in my strengths, not my weaknesses.
How have you developed inner strength? How do you identify your strengths? How do you approach your weaknesses? How do you overwhelm your weaknesses?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: grow strengths, inner strength, John Wayne, life's challenges, managing weakness, mental muscles, Strengths, strong mind, Success |, unexpected challenges, weaknesses
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Monday, June 20th, 2011
 Image via Wikipedia
The new judges on American Idol showed what happens when brands are humanized. The American Idol brand has regained a heart and soul. Can you say the same about your brand?
Judges Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler ushered in a new attitude. As a result, American Idol learned an important lesson this season—how to engage its audience in a different way.
You know what? It worked. Approximately 29 million people watched the show this year, up from 5 million viewers last year.
The judges moved beyond their traditional role of offering critical evaluations of each performance. The judges worked hard to offer legitimate suggestions for how the performers could improve their acts. The result was collaboration between the polished entertainers and raw talent.
A New Movement
Humanizing your brand represents a much bigger movement than just one season of American Idol. Smart companies of the future understand this is the new way that businesses and consumers are interacting on-line and offline. No matter the size, companies can humanize their brand with personal, one-on-one attention to customers through their social media platforms.
Here are four tips from American Idol that can show you ways to humanize your brand on social media:
People don’t want more information. They want faith—faith in you, your goals, your success, your story. Every contestant on American Idol had a unique story that they shared with the audience. Viewers watched that story progress from their audition to the final night.
A good story has the following components:
- Inspirational—we’re looking for heroes and we like finding them in people just like us.
- Resilience—we admire people who are knocked down but find the strength to get back up.
- Personal—we love to lose ourselves in the experience of others and imagine ourselves doing something similar.
2. Provide value.
Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler chose their words carefully when addressing their audience—words that went beyond criticism, and instead, offered specific and concrete suggestions on how the contestants could change their behavior or performance.
In social media there are three different types of value you can offer:
- Pointers to other content that is entertaining or informative.
- Personal insights.
- Advice and assistance.
3. Get reciprocity.
Audience participation is essential. It’s no longer about telling your audience what to think or say, or worse—ignoring what they have to think or say. This has always been a key element to the success of American Idol—the audience’s opinion is just as important as those of the judges.
There are 3 different types of reciprocity:
- Giving something with an explicit quid pro quo—the expectation of receiving something else in return.
- Doing something as an investment in the future, hoping the favor may be repaid.
- Donating with no thought of repayment.
Most of us don’t hesitate to ask for a favor in return for one given to us. It allows us to repay a debt—in the same way, consumers may take something you have to offer and feel more loyalty to your brand because of it.
4. Be emotional.
A lot of people in business operate behind a plastic façade, a façade that’s been created by slick advertising campaigns. These images are predictable, boring, and until now, safe. They no longer have the same appeal to audiences. Who can forget the real emotions that surfaced from the judges when one of their favor contestants was voted off American Idol? Real emotions—and viewers responded.
Do you want to be more attractive to your audience? Then do the following:
- Get connected
- Risk emotion
- Be authentic
American Idol is one example of how audiences are reacting to a brand that shows heart and soul. Thanks to social media, it’s becoming more important for companies to do the same thing and humanize their brand.
How can you make your story interesting? How can you bring emotion to your brand? How can you join the movement and personalize your brand?
Tags: American Idol, brand, branding, collaboration, creating value, humanizing brands, Jennifer Lopez, reciprocity, social media, Steven Tyler
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Tuesday, June 14th, 2011
Article first published on www.linked2leadership.com
As an FBI counterintelligence agent, developing good information networks around the foreign spies I pursued was the secret to my success. Those networks became part of my team and they became the heart of every successful investigation when we found our mutual spots of value.
Why is value so important to good teams? It’s the glue that sustains them in good times and saves them in bad times.
My friend Kare Anderson, author of a collaboration blog called How We Partner, says that value is created by finding sweet areas of mutual benefit—the result is a collaboration that is both productive and rewarding. Creating a team that provides these results is a critical skill for managers and leaders because it is essential for a growing business—whether you’re looking for new customers or building the camaraderie of your in-house team.
Collaboration is a process, not an event. It takes time.
Start Mixing Your Glue
You may be looking for ways to build partnership teams with new clients, contacts, or employees. Finding the entry point for collaboration is not always easy, but here are a few steps you can take to create the glue that will bind members of the team you are building:
1. Create value for them
Send articles or notices of events that might be of interest. If you write a blog, send it to them if the topic is relevant, thought provoking, or full of ideas.
I would often scan newspapers and magazines for articles or items that I knew were of interest to a contact. I never expected anything in return—just having them know that I had their best interests at heart went a long way.
It’s not a good idea to create value for others with the express intent of having them return the favor. However, when they do reciprocate value glue is being created. The greater the value, the stronger the glue. The company or individual may not be willing or able to create a product of mutual benefit. If so, they may not be an ideal member for your team.
3. Ask advice
Most people love giving advice—it places them in the role of an expert. Ask your prospective client or partner for their feedback on your ideas and product. But be genuine because they will be suspicious of your motives if you’re not. And if you’re considering collaboration with them, you really do want their input.
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4. Test the relationship
It’s easier to create value glue when the risks are lower. Start with smaller projects so all parties can get an idea of how everyone feels about working together. For example, approach a prospect or new client for partnership in a non-profit venture with the idea of looking at how you compliment each other.
5. Bundle services
Offer a discount or special combination of services by bundling your product with that of your prospect. It automatically expands the customer list of both parties.
6. Create a reward system
Find ways to reward the prospect or team members. Sometimes it’s as easy as saying thank you in private or acknowledging them publicly in some way. Glue that is created with sincerity and appreciation for the other party is always stronger than band aids that are used to cover roughed up areas.
Trust is the glue that builds strong teams.
The most successful way of creating value with other parties is finding ways of collaborating that bring mutual benefit to everyone.
What does your ideal team look like? How can you create value for your team or prospects? How would you go about testing a collaborative relationship? What tips can you share about collaborating with others?
Tags: build partnerships, collaboration, Collaboratory, information networks, leadership, Leadership Development, mutual benefit, reciprocity, team building, team building leadership, value |
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Monday, June 6th, 2011
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Social media makes sharing easy, but expose only the most attractive parts of yourself and cover up those things you would rather the rest of the world NOT glimpse.
We’ve all wished we could take back something we said, or hoped that an embarrassing memory would fade with time. With a little luck, and forgiveness on the part of others, it’s possible to make a fresh start and put the past behind us. Unless, of course, our past is indelibly etched into the hard drive of a computer—and recalled with the press of a button.
Overexposure
As an FBI agent, I interviewed many different kinds of people. The most productive for my investigations were those who talked—and talked—because they were often the kind who didn’t know when to shut up for their own good. They provided too much information about themselves and many times those details were ultimately damaging to their character and/or their goals
Here are some things to keep in mind when developing your social network:
Specific, Not Brief
Social networks force you to condense large thoughts into a few skimpy words. The rule to remember is this: be specific, not brief. With 140 characters, you can’t afford to make a mistake, so specificity is key when trying to get your thoughts across. Too often, in an effort to be brief with your comments, the words you use can be vague and confusing.
The best business plans are one-page because they force the writer to concentrate on essentials and clearly think through the issues. In social media, the limit is one good sentence. If that sentence is specific and vivid enough, your readers will get the point.
Intentional
The greater your goals, the more intentional you need to be in the way you communicate them to others. Develop a strategy so the world sees exactly what you want them to see, and nothing more.
Start off by focusing firmly on the people with whom you want to interact. Once you figure that out, then you’ll have a much better idea of how to intentionally create the type of content that they need. If you can share valuable content, you’ve drastically increased the chances of them following you and promoting you in their networks.
Close, Not Intimate
If people are going to accept you, you will need to accept them, too. This means close and frequent contact with them if you expect your relationship to grow. In other words, continued presence makes the heart grow fonder. Instead of asking, “Who can help me?” start thinking how you can be both a valuable and regular player in their life.
Social media allows you to extend your reach by helping others. Do this by sharing helpful content. It’s easier to connect with people and stay close to them because they feel that you have their best interests at heart. If they feel accepted by you, they will reciprocate. It increases the chance that they will mention you if they’re in contact with a company or organization that needs your kind of help.
Talk Back
Your behavior doesn’t go unnoticed, so pay attention to on-line etiquette. When people respond to your content, talk back! Form personal connections with your audience and encourage them to continue viewing your content.
- Use sound judgment by remaining aware of how your comments will be interpreted by others listening in.
- Reply in a timely manner.
- Take the time to thank people for their interest and their response.
- Give credit where credit is due.
Discreet
To prevent over-exposing yourself on social media, keep your goals in mind. Words are expressions of your mind—they communicate your personality. The wrong information can leave the wrong impression, so be discreet in the way you convey yourself in social media. People often ignore their choice of words when presenting themselves, but they are as important as facial expressions, handshakes, and the way you dress.
No matter how compelling your story, remember that condensing the most revealing details is key. Maintain appropriate boundaries on social media because if something embarrassing is hanging out, everyone sees it.
Looking at the bottom line: think twice before hitting the send button.
How do maintain appropriate boundaries on social media? What tips can you share about revealing only the most attractive parts of yourself? How can a person regain their reputation if they’ve over-exposed themselves on social media?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: condense words, Content (media), discreet, Facebook, help others, Internet Marketing, interpersonal communication, on-line etiquette, on-line reputation, over-exposure, personal connections, share valuable content, social communication, social media, Social network, social networks, strategic communication, strategy, Twitter
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Monday, May 30th, 2011
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A lot of people are hesitant to enter brick and mortar houses of worship these days. They’re tired of the rigid rules that define one place of worship from other places, and they’re fed up with being told what to think. The real problem is this: people walk away, still hungry for spirituality.
Until social networks, attending traditional churches, mosques, or synagogues was the only place people could explore their spirituality. But many of us leave these traditional places of worship feeling like:
- It’s a club where everyone thinks, believes, and prays the same thing
- If you don’t agree with the rules of the club, you’re not part of it
- There is no place to talk intelligently about spiritual issues that are important to us
Social media is changing the way we find God and explore our spirituality. How? It is one of the few places that people can be anonymous and speak freely about their faith—or lack of it. Social media provides safe places where we can engage in real conservations about our doubts, fears, and desires. There is no worry about church, synagogue, or mosque leaders looking over our shoulders and criticizing us because we haven’t interpreted the Holy Book to their liking or listened to their religious teachings.
Social networks provide a place where people can find others who think and feel the same way about important issues in their life. Shouldn’t that also include God?
Shut Down By Their Own Communities
We often do not speak out in the communities in which we live because we’re afraid of being censored by peers or leaders.
As a former FBI counterintelligence agent, my job was to recruit Russian spies trying to steal economic and military secrets from the U.S. I found that one of the biggest obstacles to communicating with the foreign spy was their fear of censor—that somehow their actions would be observed by others and misinterpreted—and then they would be judged, before given the opportunity to explain the situation.
The attraction of using social networks for spiritual conversations is that it doesn’t matter which faith tradition a person comes from, or what area of the world, or background. It provides a forum outside their church, synagogue, or mosque and gives them permission to explore beyond the confines of their own religious experience.
Biblica
Biblica is a large international bible publisher. They recently started a virtual community to read the New Testament during Lent. The group consisted of people around the world, in 5 different time zones, and from 12 different churches. The reason for the virtual meetings was not to discuss the church; it was to discuss how the readings had impacted them and to share these experiences with one another.
Virtual conversations allow people to express their thoughts without being constrained by the groupthink that holds so many of us back in our local communities. A great advantage of social is that it can international, interfaith, cross-cultural, and cross-generational. Face-to-face communities will always be important, but many people feel too intimidated to express opinions or feelings that don’t tow the line within that community. Diversity also exposes people to different ways of observing how the Holy moves in lives.
No Extremists, Please
Meaningful conversations about our spiritual lives do not include extremists who refuse to listen to any brand of religion except their own. There are already enough of those types of websites and they promote hate and intolerance.
Traditional churches, synagogues, and mosques have created on-line chat rooms for their followers in an attempt to modernize. These can be helpful tools. However, religious leaders may fear God showing up in social media because it means they may have less influence over the way we think and view our relationship with the Holy. They could have less control over how we spend our money and time as well.
On-line chats created for—and by—traditional houses of worship miss the real value of social media. Social media introduces us to people in other countries as well as those who live down the street, to people who believe as we do and to those from a completely different faith tradition, to those who look like us and those who look very differently.
Can an on-line community replace a face-to-face community? Is it easier for different traditions to talk about their faith in a social media environment? How have you felt traditional houses of worship didn’t encourage exploration of ideas?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: God, houses of worship, on-line chat rooms, social media, social networks, spirituality, virtual conversations
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