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Archive for the ‘self development’ Category
Thursday, August 26th, 2010
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe receive updates via email. Thanks for visiting - LaRae. Robert Pattinson is best known for his role as smoldering and kind-hearted vampire in the “Twilight” movie series. He is smoldering in a different way in his new movie “Remember Me,” a PG-13 romance in which his character smokes. This has stoked renewed criticism over the role movies play in contributing to the popularity of smoking among teens and young people.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released a report last week showing that scenes of smoking in movies had declined over the past five years. However, a recent New York Times article indicated that more than half of all PG-13 rated movies still showed smoking. And it’s the PG-13 rated movies that are of particular concern because they are the ones that teens view the most. The more on-screen smoking they see, they more likely they are to pick up the habit themselves.
The herd instinct is strong in all of us. We see others do it and we want to follow. We don’t want to be left behind—or left out—and these roots go deep to the heart of survival because herds show us how we fit in with others. Even the toughest “loner” is influenced by people—either face-to-face or through the media—who share similar interests and activities to their own. The challenges for you and me are ones of balance: the wisdom of collective thinking vs allowing the crowd to exert too much influence on our thinking.
Let me explain.
As an FBI counterintelligence agent, one of my jobs was to recruit foreign spies to work for the U.S. government. While many factors contributed to my decision on which particular spy to concentrate my efforts, one of the most important was this: where did they show up in the herd? In general, the ones who raced ahead of the others, or lagged behind, were the easiest to isolate, analyze, and pick off. The hardest groups to recruit were those who ran with the pack because they were surrounded with other like-minded individuals who covered each other’s back.
While there is no “right” place to be, there are several wrong reasons to be in that place.
People who run ahead of the crowd are often innovators and leaders; but they can also be greedy and arrogant. The middle bulge consists of those who either experience connectedness through collaboration with others; but they can also be saving time by relying on groupthink for direction. Followers tend to be observers of human nature who sifted through the collective wisdom and applied it to their own situations; but they can also be lazy and critical.
We can apply this understanding of crowds in a couple of ways:
1. Do you use groupthink as a way to save time?
The collective wisdom of a crowd can create value and save time. This is the true essence of collaboration. But history is full of examples of poor choices made because of groupthink—Nazi Germany, the Salem witch trials, and mob violence, to name a few. It’s simple a matter of saying, “Others are doing it so it must be OK.” Groupthink is not collaboration.
TIP:
- Collect information from all points of view.
- Don’t be a victim of disinformation or prejudice from one particular group.
- Take the time to double check your facts.
2. Do you move away from crowds for the right reason?
You can only thrive in a group if you’re not dependent on it. Self-knowledge and autonomy are essential to be a healthy and contributing member of a crowd.
TIP:
- Stop grazing and skimming information on important topics.
- Pick an area in which to become an expert. If you’re not sure what that topic may be, go to a bookstore and pay attention to the sections that interest you.
- Read up on it. Share your knowledge with others. If you don’t, you can’t add to the collective wisdom of the group.
“Men, it has been said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, one by one.”
Charles Mackay, Scottish historian
Take Away
You can surrender to the crowd and allow it lead you around by the nose, or you can step back and enrich your own experience by thinking for yourself.
Where are you being influenced by groupthink?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: Centers for Disease Control, collaboration, collective wisdom, crowds, FBI, smoking teens
Posted in decision making, personal achievement, persuasion, self development | No Comments »
Wednesday, August 18th, 2010
Michelle Obama rarely makes a false move, but the response to her recent vacation in Spain proved that critics are willing to treat her like other political figures who “step in it” when they veer off the beaten path. It can get smelly and even toxic if left to linger for too long. Some of the criticism has been harsh and Michelle has even been compared to Marie Antoinette who, when told of high unemployment and rising healthcare costs, suggested the little people eat cake.
Or something like that.
Growing up on a cattle ranch in Wyoming, I know first hand how unpleasant “stepping in it” can be. Our corrals were full of “it” and it’s stickiest when fresh. It doesn’t help that as Americans are settling for staycations, in an economy that also smells bad, the first lady is seen recently visiting private Spanish beaches and kicking up her Manolo Blahniks. As New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd observed, if she wanted a beach trip, she could have gone to New Orleans and helped clean up a pelican.
During my FBI firearms training, I learned the importance of minimizing the impact of a bad situation as soon as possible. Wait too long, and the damage can be irrevocable. These tips can work for FBI agents, Michelle Obama, and you.
1. What Looks Like a Problem, is Often a Result of the Situation
The economy is in bad shape. Vacationing in Spain under normal circumstances would not be a big deal. Even a family vacation wouldn’t be resented. But Michelle, this looks like another fun little European jaunt for the girls and those haven’t been in style since the boom years of Alan Greenspan’s economy. Perception is reality. Michelle Obama is the first lady and whether she asked for it or not, everything she says and does send a message to Americans. Eleanor Roosevelt understood this—difficult situations dictate different responses.
TIP: Ask yourself whether the situation would be a problem if the circumstances were different. If not, look to the situation for tips on how to handle the problem.
2. What Looks Like a Problem, is Often the Result of Poor Communication
Oh Mama Obama, what were you thinking? We won’t know unless you tell us! Often we say and do things that give the wrong impression or inaccurately express what we’re thinking. Communication can be difficult; clarity in communication can be even more difficult. If we’re unable, or unwilling, to tell others what we’re thinking, the only clue they have of what’s on our mind is our actions. Often, we get into trouble because we assume that our behaviors don’t need to be explained—wrong!
TIP: Invite an individual (not involved in the situation) to listen as you explain your position on a potential problem. Can you explain your point of view with clarity and precision? Ask this individual to repeat back to you what they think you said. FBI agents pre-brief, brief, and then debrief before, during, and after every major operation to prevent miscommunication.
3. What Looks Like a Problem, is Often a Lack of Self-Control
Good leaders understand that sometimes, it’s not all about them. Just because we want something, doesn’t mean we deserve it, and it doesn’t mean we deserve it right now. Power corrupts because a sense of entitlement accompanies it. People become good leaders not because they are great thinkers; they become good leaders because they rally the troops and make people feel they’re part of a team—a good one. No one is left behind with staycations and unemployment checks. Good leaders lead by example and this is a powerfully persuasive tool.
TIP: Don’t create a problem if one doesn’t exist by not thinking through the implication of your actions. How will your decision affect others? Is your decision creating a problem that could be avoided by tweaking either your language or modifying behavior? When FBI agents arrest an individual, there will be problems for that person and their family, but anticipating those problems can prevent the situation from becoming mushrooming into something much worse.
“You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best you have to give.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Take Away
Minimize the negative impact of decisions by anticipating the problems before they arrive.
How has your quick reaction to a difficult situation minimized the negative impact?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: Alan Greenspan, communication, Eleanor Roosevelt, Marie Antoinette, Maureen Dowd, Michelle Obama, New Orleans, New York Times, persuasive, Spain
Posted in communication, decision making, personal achievement, persuasion, self development | No Comments »
Monday, August 16th, 2010
When a Jet Blue flight attendant grabbed a couple of beers, took a step, and slid out from under the humdrum routine of his job last week, it sparked fantasies among more than a few of us—in the back recesses of our dark little minds—of doing the same thing. We experienced guilty pleasure, but only from a safe distance, because you and I are the lucky ones to have a job, even if that means an idiot for a boss or a lousy commute.
The story about Steven Slater and his response to a passenger on a Jet Blue flight that swore at him and hit his forehead with the door of an overhead compartment has hit a nerve with many of us. We’ve all felt the exasperation that comes from not being heard, not being appreciated, and not being respected.
Part of us root for the underdog here, but there’s a reason we keep those thoughts in the dark recesses of our mind. The point at which we let a negative emotion control our behavior is not a pretty picture. It leads to responses that are both unattractive and destructive. In the worst scenario it can lead to violence; even in the best, it leads to broken relationships.
My bet is that tension had been building up inside Steven Slater for a long time. Like all of us, he could choose how to respond to the frustrating and insulting situation on Jet Blue. He chose a knee-jerk reaction that cost him his dignity and his job. But he could have taken the high road, instead of a meltdown that led to the road to unemployment, if he had taken the time to realize that his response could have been predicted, and therefore, changed. By looking at similar situations in the past, and discovering his patterns of behavior, he could have recognized the undesirable ones before they sabotaged his career, and chosen a better alternative.
In FBI firearms training, we were taught to control our surrounding circumstances by predicting our own response to the situation—or threat, because a threat can come in many different sizes and shapes. If we can predict our response, we can choose the best alternative.
1. Ask, Can I Get Feedback from Others?
In firearms, we had instructors watching our every move and they never backed off for a minute in letting us know exactly when we screwed up, how we did it, and what we could have done differently. FBI firearms training does not end after five months at the academy in Quantico; agents are required to qualify at least four times a year for the rest of their career. Instructors observed us and prepared us so we could predict our response in a real situation.
TIP: Ask a trusted friend or colleague to give you honest feedback when you’re confronted with a contentious situation. Pinpoint the moment when you felt a negative emotion influencing your response and then ask yourself, “What could I have done differently?”
2. Ask, What Kind of Feedback Do I Need?
What is it that you need at this point in your journey? It’s tempting to seek out a comforting voice when we’re in the middle of conflict, and there are times when that’s exactly what we need. There are other times when a visionary is what you may need to help you see the bigger picture; or a detail person to help you grasp the importance of a simple gesture or word; and a cynic can be a great asset when preparing for criticism.
TIP: Develop relationships with people similar to yourself, and those unlike you, because both can be valuable instructors to help you see yourself more clearly in various types of situations.
2. Ask, How Valid is that Person’s Perspective?
No matter how many times an agent goes to firearms, if the instructor’s advice goes in one ear and out the other, it’s not going to help in a critical situation. If you reject the image that is being offered to you by those who have observed you in action, you won’t develop alternative responses, and the same pattern of behavior will continue.
TIP: If you’re trying to see your external self more clearly, you must be willing to deepen your self-awareness and self-knowledge.
“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Henry David Thoreau
Take Away
If you can predict your response, you can choose better alternatives.
How has the ability to predict your reaction to a stressful situation helped you to control your response to it?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: choices, FBI, FBI firearms training, flight attendant, Jet Blue Airways, predicting behavior, Steven Slater
Posted in decision making, personal achievement, persuasion, self development | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, August 11th, 2010
All of a sudden, spies are popular. They’ve infiltrated Facebook and are pushing lawn mowers across America as they steal the secrets that make us a great and powerful country. Even Hollywood jumped into the mix with an Angelina Jolie spy thriller called “Salt,” about a CIA operative accused of being a Russian double agent.
The Russian spy ring has grabbed our attention for a number of reasons. One of them is that Americans have always loved stories about little people who outwit big government. They remind us that anyone can push through adversity and overcome obstacles if they’re resilient and strong.
When I was going through the FBI Academy at the age of 25, one of the physical fitness requirements was to dive off a 50 feet diving board while holding an M16, and then swim to the other side of the pool with the gun. I had two problems: I was afraid of heights and I couldn’t swim. As my training class and instructors waited for me to jump, I seriously doubted that in real life I’d ever need to jump into a pool of water with a M16 while chasing a suspect. This was something I had to do, however, to graduate from the Academy, so I plunged in and bounced back up to the surface—still holding the gun—and then floundered until I made the other side.
It wasn’t until a few years later that I realized the swimming pool requirement had nothing to do with superior law enforcement techniques. Instead, it taught me that those who keep their back straight when confronted with uncomfortable challenges inspire others around them. Everyone knew I was afraid of the jump, but it was something that I needed to do with honesty, and integrity. Once I took the plunge, the by-product was respect—first from the others, and also from myself.
By becoming more aware of how you’ve gotten through the knocks that life has thrown your way thus far, you can discover what to fall back on when they happen again.
Create a Personal Surveillance Log
Surveillance logs are invaluable tools used by FBI agents to learn more about the habits of the individual under investigation. In this case, you are observing yourself.
1. Start your own surveillance log by taking a few minutes to think back over situations that were difficult for you. Jot your thoughts down in a notebook. Start with childhood and move into work and relationships. List them. Every life change has brought its share of difficulties; you initiated some of them while others were outside your sphere of control.
2. Under each difficulty or adversity that you’ve faced, list the good things that came from it.
3. Pick three of the most difficult situations.
- Ask yourself what you did to cope?
- Identify which strengths you relied upon. Were they hidden strengths?
- How did you overcome obstacles and fears?
4. You are now aware of which situations have called you to draw upon your strengths—sometimes hidden—and how they have provided you the courage to get where you are today.
TIP: Remember, you are stronger than you think, or you wouldn’t be here.
“Our greatest glory consists not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.”
Oliver Goldsmith
Take Away
Becoming aware of how you’ve dealt with the hard knocks in the past will help you understand what strengths to fall back on when obstacles show up in the future.
What’s your secret to overcoming obstacles?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: adversity, FBI, FBI academy, Russian spy ring
Posted in decision making, personal achievement, Russian spy ring, self development, spies | 1 Comment »
Monday, August 9th, 2010
Spy movies come in two forms: Ian Fleming 007 violence or John le Carre melancholy realism. In both genre’s, however, it is the look and feel of the movie that offer so much texture to the experience, not the words. The way that James Bond looks at a woman; the way George Smiley nods his head. The meaning of their messages doesn’t need to be explained. We can observe—and more importantly, interpret—the meaning of each non-verbal communication.
Alas, real life spies aren’t always as clever at recognizing the dangers around them as those in the movies. The Russian spy ring lived in America among the neighbors who didn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary. And yet, the FBI had surrounded them with undercover agents and human informants for over ten years.
On July 24th, 2010 Russia’s Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin said that he had met with the Russian agents swapped in an exchange with the U.S. He expressed his admiration for them and said that they had a very tough life in America. Not only did they have to master a foreign language as their own, he said, they also had to think and act like foreigners.
Secret agents can be taught to say the right thing, but it’s much more difficult to teach them to feel and react in a way that doesn’t betray their true inner feelings. This is how we know a good actor from a great one: they can convey the complexity of their feelings through body language, without having to say a word.
As an FBI agent, I was trained to observe—and interpret—non-verbal gestures. There are many books on how to read body language but I’m going to share with you only those tips I learned from the FBI and other law enforcement agencies.
The FBI study of body language begins with two generalizations.
Norming
“Norming” refers to acquainting yourself with the person’s normal pattern of gestures. This means taking time before beginning a discussion in critical areas to determine how the person reacts in a normal conversation. Many people punctuate with constant gestures and movement while others are relatively still. They key is to notice how these gestures change during a conversation.
For example, if Aunt Mabel scratches her nose while talking about her childhood, it may mean nothing. However, if she breaks eye contact, rubs her nose, and raises her eyebrows, those clusters of activity indicate that a critical area in the conversation has been reached—at least for her.
Physiological Signs
 - Image by goron via Flickr
The head shows the most expressive body language characteristics. Here are some physiological signs that can be easily observed:
- Blushing—a sign of reaction to your conversation
- Carotid pulse—arteries in the neck that will visibly pulse when under stress
- Larynx—the Adam’s apple will start to bounce under stress
The Eyes Have It
As a general rule, breaks in eye contact are the most important non-verbal gesture. Here are some other examples:
- Closing the eyes
- Covering the eyes
- Glancing at watch
- Showing intense interest in fingernails
- Looking out the window or at the floor
- Avoid looking you in the eye during the moment of deception
- Rapid eye movement
- Raising eyebrows
This is a very partial list and we’ll be looking at more signs in the weeks and months to come.
TIP: Look for clusters of activity that can indicate deception or that a critical area in the conversation has been reached.
The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.
German Proverb
Take Away
People will reveal what they feel through non-verbal gestures regardless of what they say.
What non-verbal behaviors have you noticed in people?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy.
Tags: communication, FBI, non-verbal, Russian spy ring, secret agents, spies
Posted in communication, personal achievement, persuasion, Russian spy ring, secret agents, self development, spies | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010
The talent of eavesdropping is greatly underappreciated. There are so many important, and really interesting, things we can learn if we pay attention to the conversations around us—particularly those we’re involved in. Listening is hard work and few of us know how to listen really well.
FBI agents used covert techniques such as wiretaps, bugging devices, and surveillance to collect information about the dirty dozen—the 12 Russians identified as spies in June 2010. Covert techniques are effective because the information gathered is unfiltered—that is, it’s candid and unrehearsed. It allows the FBI to catch a spy unaware; in other words, in honest communication.
Is it possible for us to eavesdrop on our own conversations?
FBI agents rely on interviews and interrogations, more than any other investigative tool, to gather evidence. The key for the investigator is to know what to look for and how to interpret it. In the same way, you and I can learn how to pick up clues that indicate honesty or deception if we pay attention to the body language and pick up clues in the way our questions are answered. We can train ourselves to recognize honest answers from the people we work with and live around if we are patient, attentive, and know what to look for. We can prevent ourselves from being persuaded to act or respond in ways that aren’t in our best interests. New research shows that after only a few moments of careful observation we can reach surprisingly accurate conclusions about strangers. The trick is to know how.
One of the first lessons I learned as an FBI agent was to follow the rule of clusters and not jump to unwarranted conclusions on the basis of one piece of evidence. All you can do is make an informed guess based on the information you gather. These are a few examples:
Generally, Deceptive People Tend to Give More Verbal Signs
- Stress usually increases the speed of speech.
- A stressed person may also talk louder.
- Cracking in the natural tone of the voice often occurs at the point of deception.
- Coughing and clearing the throat are good signs of tension at the point when they occur.
The Way the Word “NO” is Used Can Be a Treasure Mine
A person is most likely showing deceptive behavior when they:
- Say “no” and look in a different direction (upward, downward, etc)
- Say “no” and close their eyes.
- Say “no” after a hesitation.
- Say “noooooooo” stretched over a long period of time.
- Say “no” in a singsong manner.
Too Much of Anything is Too-Much
Be wary of someone who’s trying too hard to make a good impression.
- Emphasizing respect for your qualities and talents
- Forming a mutual bond by reminding you of common friends and activities you share
- Offering lots of praise and pleasantries
- Laughing at all your jokes (a sure give-away)
Watch for Changes in Behavior
A person is hiding something from you if they:
>Experience sudden lapses in memory at critical times even though they’ve been alert in earlier conversation
>Answer questions with small crumbs of information
>Move into a more formal way of speaking which can indicate that the conversation is hitting a point of stress for them
This is a partial list. We’ll be looking at more of them in future blog posts.
TIP: If you feel deep down that someone is lying, jot down the details and ask the following question:
- What is the motivation for a lie?
- What word or conversation triggered your concern?
- What other signs are you noticing that would support your theory?
The most common sort of lie is the one uttered to himself.
Nietzsche
Take Away
No one behavior by itself indicates deception, but the way a person responds is your best way to determine whether they’re being persuasive, manipulative, or deceptive.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: body language, FBI, persuasion, Russian spy ring, speech, verbal response
Posted in Lifestyle, personal achievement, persuasion, Russian spy ring, secret agents, self development, spies | No Comments »
Friday, July 30th, 2010
An image of the FBI making an arrest gets our attention. We sit up a little straighter as we look to see whether the criminal is someone we know—or, for some of us, maybe a relative. We cheer for the good guys and feel good about our tax dollars being put to good use.
Most people go into a mild shock when they’re arrested. It’s a traumatic experience even for a hardened criminal. When the mild-mannered Russian spies were arrested in June 2010, it was unexpected, and therefore, sent shockwaves through the jail cells of the would-be secret agents like a tsunami washes over a beach. It didn’t take long for all of them to plead guilty and settle for deportation.
A sudden shock gets our attention. I call it the Theory of Inoculation because inoculations get the attention of our body’s immune system by introducing a small dose of the disease. This jolts the body into action and antibodies are produced to protect us against further infection. In the same way, an extreme suggestion can introduce an idea that is initially so shocking that we welcome “middle ground” as a desirable alternative.
This is a technique used with great success by retailers, ex-spouses, and terrorists. I ran across this letter and think it gives a perfect example of how extreme suggestions can work in the way we communicate ideas:
Dear Mom and Dad,
Since I left for college, many things have happened. I apologize for not writing sooner, but you’ve been in my thoughts. Please, do not cry until you’ve read my entire letter but you had better prepare yourself by sitting down.
First, my jail sentence went by faster than I expected. The food wasn’t that bad, really, and I felt lucky that I lost only 50 pounds. Being female, I didn’t know what to expect but my cellmate was a businesswoman named Sugar and she’s offered me a regular job with her escort service. She assures me that I’ll be escorting very nice gentlemen to innocent parties and not to worry about the nasty rumors. I’m not sure what she means, but she says she’s got a great lawyer.
While in jail I met the man of my dreams. He’s out on parole now and we’ve found a wonderful little cubbyhole under the Golden Gate Bridge to live in until he finds a proper job. He’s an enterprising young man and I know you’ll like him. For example, he’s up and going through the trash bins before anyone else in the area! Yes, I’m homeless right now and although my boyfriend thinks I should take up Sugar’s offer on employment, I’m worried that my pregnancy will not make me a desirable escort.
Yes, I’m going to have a baby! And as soon as my boyfriend’s infection clears up, we’ll get our blood tests and have a real wedding. I know you’ll welcome him with open arms and perhaps even help him find a job. You should also know that he never graduated from high school, but he has high ambitions.
Now that you have all the news worth telling, I want to tell you that I didn’t get arrested, I didn’t lose 50 pounds, I’m not thinking of going to work for Sugar, I didn’t meet a boyfriend in jail, I’m not homeless, and I’m not pregnant. I am, however, getting a D in economics, which wouldn’t be so bad but it is, unfortunately, my major. I wanted you to see this in proper perspective.
Your loving daughter,
Lori
Yes, there are times when the middle ground can seem like a gift from heaven.
For the Russian spies, the extreme suggestion of jail made the middle ground of deportation sound like a good deal.
Tip: Extreme suggestions, or the inoculation theory, rely on fear of the unknown. This is a persuasion technique that is very effective. You are much less vulnerable to manipulation by others if you can pinpoint the following:
- What grabbed your attention?
- What fear is triggered?
- What has your response been to this same type of fear in other situations?
- Has that response served you well?
“He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.”
Lao Tzu
Take Away
Pay attention to what fears grab your attention and your response to them.
When have you felt manipulated into accepting “middle ground” as a good alternative?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: communication, FBI, personal achievement, persuasion, Russia, self development
Posted in personal achievement, persuasion, Russian spy ring, self development | No Comments »
Tuesday, July 27th, 2010
Thomas L. Friedman recently commented in a New York Times editorial that it was not an honor to be spied upon by a country as broken-down as Russia. I’m hoping the 11 Russians charged as sleeper spies in America didn’t read it; they might have felt insulted by Friedman’s assertions that Russia is no longer our peer, except in nuclear weapons that are not likely to ever be used. Can his words persuade us that America has nothing of value to lose to the Russians?
I worked as an FBI counterintelligence and undercover agent for twenty years. I agree with Mr. Friedman that Russia cannot steal America’s commitment to individual freedom, rules of law, and a culture that celebrates immigrants and innovators. I also agree with other columnists and writers who question why Russia would spend so much money on 12 sleeper spies who accomplished so little during their decade-long presence in America.
But I also think Mr. Friedman and others are naïve in their understanding of Russia’s intelligence gathering operations in America and elsewhere in the world. And they’re spreading this naïveté to unsuspecting readers who trust journalists and reporters to educate them on newsworthy events of the day.
Here is an example:
It’s known that some of the sleeper spies made contact with prominent academicians and politicians. No classified, or even proprietary, information exchanged hands. Rather than talk to experts in counterintelligence who could help interpret these actions, journalists dismissed the not-so-secret spies as inept. They wrote from their own limited understanding of how spies operate, and spread that misunderstanding to readers.
Although sleeper spies are an expensive and time-consuming way to go, let me explain the rationale behind at least some of it. The Obama Administration relies heavily upon experts attached to universities, think tanks, and research centers to help them form foreign policy. Many times, these academicians are given classified clearances so they can be thoroughly briefed on a political situation. They are then tasked with providing their expertise so the administration can make more informed foreign policy decisions. Just knowing how these experts think and view an area critical to Russia could provide the spies with an idea of “which way the wind was blowing.”
Mr. Friedman is an opinion leader because many people read his column and trust his conclusions. He gets you to thinking, albeit to his way of thinking. And therein lies the danger of opinion leaders: they are powerful persuaders because they appeal to the way you make sense of the world:
- Opinion leaders are seen as authorities. There is very little difference in the methods used by politicians, newspaper editors, and religious leaders.
- It’s easier to let them do the thinking for you. You trust them to sort through complicated issues and provide you with an accurate summary to you can make decisions.
- Whether or not they’re trying to manipulate you per se, they may cause you to suspend your natural skepticism and “go with the flow.”
TIP:
- Be skeptical. Avoid putting yourself in a situation where someone else is 1) telling you what to think, and 2) why to think it.
- Be curious. Even though it may take a little more time, gather your own facts.
- Be selective. You can’t be an expert in everything, so decide which areas are more important and focus your energies there.
“A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world.”
John le Carre
Take Away
Take notice of the experts whose advice and opinions you take on face value. They may not be as informed as they appear.
Who are the opinion leaders that you rely on?
This is the fifth blog in a series of 10 Tips for a Russian Spy Ring.
You can also follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy/
Tags: counterintelligence, Espionage, FBI, New York Times, opinion leaders, persuasion, Russia, Russian spy ring, Thomas Friedman, undercover agent
Posted in decision making, opinion leaders, personal achievement, persuasion, Russian spy ring, secret agents, self development, spies | 2 Comments »
Friday, July 23rd, 2010
 - Image by Tony₂ via Flickr
We love a good yarn and Russian spy stories have fascinated us for years. We’ve come to expect complicated plots, lots of action, and a predictable ending. So when the Russian spy ring was arrested in June 2010, we put down our John LeCarre novels and watched a really good story unfold before our very eyes. A femme fatale fascinated all of us because we’ve come to expect one from a spy stories. We’ve seen enough James Bond movies to have a clear idea of the life of a secret agent, or at least we think we do—disappearing ink, undercover FBI agents, and a web of deception. For that matter, many of us have preconceptions about FBI agents, too.
Let me give you an example from my own experience:
The target of one of my investigations (a Russian spy in the United States) met a mild-mannered American who wore Italian suits, drove German cars, and got weekly manicures. The American was erudite and spoke eloquently about the importance of being true to our passions in life. Rarely did the conversation veer from the topics of philosophy and personal growth. He seldom voiced a political viewpoint. The spy came to feel a deep bond of trust with him.
Unfortunately for the spy, this man was also an FBI undercover agent. The spy’s perception of an FBI agent was a gun toting, polyester clad investigator who wore cheap shoes and drove American-made cars. The agent didn’t fit into the way the spy was taught an FBI agent would think, look, or act. The Russian spy made a generalization when he met the undercover agent. What is a generalization? It is a decision we come to so fast that we do not have time to think about it. Many times we do not even know why we make the judgment and yet it is strong enough that we decide to act upon it. Generalizations are not rational calculations based on time spent analyzing the choices. Generalizations are rules of thumb that have been incorporated into our way thinking through time and past experiences. They rely on very simple cues from our environment. What are some of the common generalizations you make without thinking about them?
- When lost and asking for directions from a stranger, you’d approach a well-dressed older man in a well-pressed suit and tie rather a young man wearing tattoos and baggy pants.
- Reading a consumer report about a product will lead to a wiser purchase.
- A U.S. inspection label on a toy means authorities have tested it.
- Advertisements can be trusted because there are laws to keep them truthful.
- Fair-skinned people with blond hair are more likely to get skin cancer.
We tend to be attracted to people, places, and things that represent who or what we’d like to become. I call them “image makers” because they appeal to the way we see ourselves. Image Makers can validate the way we spend our money, allow us to fantasize about a world to which we don’t currently belong, or influence the decisions we make. In short, they persuade us to think and act a certain way.
Example: The image of an undercover agent posing as a polished and successful businessman was alluring to a middle-aged Russian man who dreamed of a better life in America.
Example: The image of a beautiful woman with unlined skin selling an expensive night cream is alluring to every woman who’s looking for the fountain of youth.
Example: The image that a well-dressed and well-spoken man conveys in an interview is one of an erudite and sophisticated individual who is smarter than the other candidates. While generalizations are efficient time-savers, they can also be dangerous because we often see what we want to see. Or, what others want us to see. Many times our responses are based on emotional tugs or incomplete information. The result of stereotypes can lead to judgments that are unfair or choices that don’t serve us well.
TIP: Jot down or make a mental note of the image makers that persuade your thinking and influence your responses.
- What is the “image” that you are attracted to?
- How has the image maker enhanced the way you feel about yourself?
- Is the image maker leading you toward making better choices?
Once this is done, you will also be more knowledgeable about the types of generalization you consistently rely on. You will also know which generalizations to which you are most vulnerable.
An idea is always a generalization, and generalization is the property of thinking.
Georg Hegel
Take Away If we’re aware which generalizations influence our choices and responses, we can identify the ones that help us to react with resilience and accuracy.
Which generalizations help you make smarter choices?
Tags: FBI, FBI undercover agents, generalizations, influence, persuasion, Russian spy ring
Posted in default, persuasion, Russian spy ring, secret agents, self development, spies | 6 Comments »
Tuesday, July 20th, 2010
It seems our group of not-so-secret agents got distracted with the good life in America and forgot valuable lessons handed down from experienced old-timers. While technology in the spy business has changed, the mistakes, and lessons learned from them, remain the same. I’m willing to bet that our little spy ring could add several insights on what they learned from the past and how not to repeat their mistakes.
Many people hesitate to visit the past. There are several reasons, but here are few:
- It brings up painful memories and reminders of how life can get botched up through no fault of our own
- Memories can stall us
- We don’t understand how the past can point to the future
What can we learn from looking at the past?
- Grab hold of the strong and positive instincts that kept us going in the past when things got rough—as far back as childhood and the way we handled not getting to play with the red ball on the playground.
- Grow these same instincts into traits as adults that we can rely on.
- Lean on past mistakes to show us the way to change
As a former FBI agent, I was trained in firearms to use “muscle memory.” In a hostile situation, when a split second can make all the difference, agents ask themselves, “What am I trained to do?” Agents remember the mistakes they make in training so they don’t repeat them in real-life situations. In the same way, you can use muscle memory to learn from your mistakes and protect against repeating them.
Let’s look at ways you can use “mental muscle memory” in everyday life:
Start Working Out
Find your strengths and stick with them. Acknowledge your weaknesses and avoid situations where they’ll be exploited. For example, I’m a slow and weak runner. While at Quantico for New Agent’s training, the run was one of the hardest parts of the physical fitness test for me to pass. I worked on improving my running but it wouldn’t be prudent to pretend it was a strong point for me. It would be ridiculous for me to try to outrun a criminal suspect. But I was a good shot and could use those skills in a way to make arrest situations safer for both innocent bystanders and my fellow agents.
TIP: Find your points of strength and continue to develop them. Acknowledge your points of weakness and work on minimizing their negative impact.
- Go back and remember how well you handled yourself in a stressful situation.
- Make notes on what you did right and what you’d like to repeat if a similar situation comes up again.
- Go back and remember how you didn’t handle yourself as well as you’d like in a stressful or unexpected situation.
- Make notes on what you didn’t like about that response and how you’d do it differently today or if you’d had more time to think about it.
Spend Time in Training
Life as an FBI agent is a life of continual training in firearms and defensive tactics skills. The purpose is to make our responses automatic so we don’t have to stop and think about them in a crisis situation. Since I retired, I now have more time playing catch with my dog. The interesting thing is that the first thing I do when Gus is heading toward me at a dead run is flex my knees and drop my center of gravity because that’s what I was trained to do in situations where I need to keep my balance. My muscles remember the years of training and now it’s second nature.
TIP: Notice the specific behaviors that haven’t served you well in the past. Come up with alternatives for yourself and start practicing them as often as you can during your day. Start training your mental muscle memory so you’re prepared when confronted with a stressful situation.
Keep In Shape
Any athlete will tell you that it’s possible to lose our edge if we don’t keep at it. To keep our muscle memory, it’s a continual process of looking at life and drawing out both the successes and mistakes. Most of our learning in life happens outside the classroom. We never graduate from the school of learning because our world is constantly changing and we need to keep our minds, eyes, and ears open. Our greatest teachers appear every time we make a mistake. Rather than burying ourselves in pity or regret, ask these questions “What is the lesson I can learn from this mistake?” “What can I change next time?”
TIP: Encourage the adventurer—and curious investigator—inside of you to see more than the tip of the iceberg. When you observe reactions in yourself that you don’t understand, or that surprise, you, dig deeper to uncover which circumstances trigger that specific behavior. Keep in shape by looking for ways to improve your response to every situation.
“Good people are good because they’ve come to wisdom through failure.”
William Saroyan
Take Away
If we learn from the past, we can protect against repeating our mistakes.
What valuable lessons have your learned from past mistakes?
Tags: adventurer, decision making, Espionage, FBI, learn from mistakes, memory, repeat mistakes, Russian spy ring
Posted in decision making, FBI training, personal achievement, Russian spy ring, secret agents, self development, spies | 1 Comment »
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