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Posts Tagged ‘FBI’
Thursday, September 2nd, 2010
If you're new here, you may want to subscribe receive updates via email. Thanks for visiting - LaRae. A ranch in Wyoming can be a rough place to grow up. I played on a rockslide that had stabilized over the years, discovered abandoned whiskey stills from the 1930’s in rough mountain terrain, and wore lace-up boots to prevent rattlesnakes from biting my feet and ankles. Of course, if it bit anywhere higher on my leg, I was on my own so I learned to be alert. And fast. A coiled rattlesnake can only strike the length of its body so if I saw it first, those lace-up boots could also burn rubber in the opposite direction.
I grew up skinny. And not just from running away from rattlesnakes. Every day after school I played for a few hours before I did my chores, or until it got dark. I walked down the river and constructed my own version of Fort Courage—remember the 60’s comedy show F Troop—from a small grove of willow trees, bits of driftwood, and a good dose of imagination. I found small tree limbs that could be carved into rifles, set up a general store substituting rocks for canned goods, and climbed up to an overhang of rocks that made a perfect lookout for marauding Indians. It was a busy life.
I also grew up with a respect for hard work and a belief that if something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well. I learned there is a difference between being strong-willed and being strong-minded—in a nest of rattlesnakes, one can cost you your life while the other can save it. A strong mind, unafraid of the risks in the unknown, led me from the mountains of Wyoming to the FBI Academy in Quantico, Virginia.
Let me share my rattlesnake survival tactics:
1. Look for the Unknown
In FBI firearms training, we were taught to look for the unknown in an arrest situation. Lack of preparedness can result in serious injury—whether it’s a little girl spotting a coiled rattlesnake, an FBI agent making an arrest, or an entrepreneur navigating the marketplace. The most common response to the unknown is that it is something to be feared, challenged, or overcome. On the other hand, the unknown can also be something to be discovered that will lead you into new territory.
TIP: Identify the thoughts and emotions that bubble up when facing the unknown in your life.
- What metaphor comes to mind?
- Is it a wave crashing down upon you, a strong wind that takes your breath, or a fire that consumes everything in its path?
- Or do you look at it like an animal to be tamed, a mountain to be climbed, or a race to be won?
The way in which you perceive the unknown determines how you will navigate it.
2. Engage the Unknown
Just because you don’t like surprises, it doesn’t mean they aren’t going to happen. Rattlesnakes coil before they strike, but if you’re alert for them, it’s possible to see them, change course, and move out of striking distance. Pretending you don’t see it and continuing along the same path, will only lead to disaster—and leave you scrambling for an alternative route in a panic.
TIP: Engage the unknown in small steps at first.
- Ask small questions about the direction your path is headed.
- Think small thoughts about alternative reactions and responses.
- Take small actions when confronted with the unexpected.
- Identify small moments when you met the unknown with confidence.
The secret is small, steady steps that get you closer to your goal.
3. Partner with the Unknown
I grew up with respect and a healthy dose of fear for rattlesnakes but I never let it change my love for exploring the beautiful mountains on our ranch. Rattlesnakes were simply a part of my life. I learned to adapt to my circumstances and not let fear alter my goals.
TIP: Pick one area of your life that you’d like to explore and understand in more depth.
- What would it take for you to go deeper?
- Push past what you currently know about it.
- Take the time to explore multiple dimensions and next-level solutions.
Get used to it now because the unknown is your partner for life.
“Courage is doing what you‘re afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you‘re scared.”
Eddie Rickenbacker, American aviator
Take Away
There is a difference between being strong-willed and strong-minded—one can cost you your life while the other can save it. A strong mind is unafraid of the unknown but uses wisdom before proceeding.
Would you describe yourself as strong-willed or strong-minded?
How are the two different?
Which has been more effective in helping you to reach your goal?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: crisis management, FBI, personal achievement, self development, self-awareness
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Tuesday, August 31st, 2010
On July 30, 2010 a homeless man armed with a loaded gun burst into the emergency room of Children’s Hospital in Oakland, CA. He grabbed a female employee and shoved the .38 caliber revolver into her stomach as he shouted for everyone to back away. After several minutes, police officers showed up with rifles and the man put down the gun. The employee who was taken hostage was not hurt, but several other hospital employees were so distraught that they were sent home for the rest of the day. By contrast, several of the other employees volunteered to extend their shift to get hospital services back to normal.
I know first hand how difficult it is to predict your response in a crisis situation.
As an FBI agent, I only drew my gun to shoot once, and that was on a busy road in Scottsdale, AZ. I was part of an FBI surveillance team that was following a suspect wanted for extortion, and I happened to be in the passenger seat when we pulled up next to him at a red light on Scottsdale Road. Since I was the agent closest to him, I tucked my gun under my jacket, opened the car door, and tapped on the suspect’s window. I smiled sweetly and he rolled down his window. When I pulled the gun on him, he was so surprised his foot slipped off the clutch and his car jerked into the middle of the intersection.
His hands were in the air, and then they dropped; I didn’t know whether he was reaching for a gun or just trying to grab the wheel. As it turned out, he bent over to turn off the ignition. And, as it also happened, he had a loaded gun under the front seat. I don’t remember hearing or seeing my fellow agents surround the car. I kept my gun—and mind—focused on the suspect until he was in handcuffs.
No matter the circumstances, when we’re confronted with a crisis situation we need to dig deep and draw from an inner strength that is nurtured by self-awareness. It shouldn’t take a disaster for us to recognize our natural strengths but sometimes we don’t know what they are until we’re confronted with the unexpected. Why were some of the employees at Children’s Hospital so distraught over the incident they were sent home, while others bounded back and took on additional duties to keep the hospital open?
All of us have experienced situations where we could have responded with more resilience, so the question is this: can you develop the skills needed to bounce back after a stressful situation? The answer is yes, and here are some tips:
1. Own It
I didn’t go to work that day anticipating the need to step out of a car on a busy street in Scottsdale to make an arrest. Sometimes life is like that, and you roll with the punches in order to get through the situation. Your reaction is produced by your own thoughts. If you believe you can continue after a crisis, then you will. If you doubt yourself, then you won’t.
TIP: Pay attention to your emotions in a crisis because your responses are a direct result of how you think.
2. Toughen Up
Tough-minded does not mean hard-hearted. Tough-minded people simply know how to keep calm and remain focused on their goal. In a crisis, they don’t allow the mental chatter that can produce confusion or doubt about their capabilities to rear its ugly head.
TIP: Learn to control the mental chatter that undermines your inner strength. Try mental disciplines like yoga, tai chi, or meditation. They are an excellent way to toughen the mind so it can stay focused.
3. Challenge Beliefs
Once your mind is quiet, you can challenge the beliefs you hold about yourself that are false or can be changed. Athletes will not improve their performance unless they reach for the goal that is beyond their grasp. If you settle for mediocrity in yourself, that’s what you’re going to get, so don’t be surprised when your response is not what you had hoped it would be. Challenge the beliefs you hold about yourself and enlarge your territory.
TIP: Start with identifying your natural strengths, and then start developing them. Take time to understand your weaknesses as well so you will know how to compensate for them in a crisis situation by responding with your inner strength instead.
“A man’s reach should always exceed his grasp.”
Robert Browning
Take Away
Develop the skills to bounce back after a crisis by responding with your natural strengths.
How resilient are you? Would you be the one to go home after a frightening event; or would you be the one to volunteer to stay and help the rest?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: FBI, guns, hostage, inner strength, resilience, self-awareness, tough-minded
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Thursday, August 26th, 2010
Robert Pattinson is best known for his role as smoldering and kind-hearted vampire in the “Twilight” movie series. He is smoldering in a different way in his new movie “Remember Me,” a PG-13 romance in which his character smokes. This has stoked renewed criticism over the role movies play in contributing to the popularity of smoking among teens and young people.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) released a report last week showing that scenes of smoking in movies had declined over the past five years. However, a recent New York Times article indicated that more than half of all PG-13 rated movies still showed smoking. And it’s the PG-13 rated movies that are of particular concern because they are the ones that teens view the most. The more on-screen smoking they see, they more likely they are to pick up the habit themselves.
The herd instinct is strong in all of us. We see others do it and we want to follow. We don’t want to be left behind—or left out—and these roots go deep to the heart of survival because herds show us how we fit in with others. Even the toughest “loner” is influenced by people—either face-to-face or through the media—who share similar interests and activities to their own. The challenges for you and me are ones of balance: the wisdom of collective thinking vs allowing the crowd to exert too much influence on our thinking.
Let me explain.
As an FBI counterintelligence agent, one of my jobs was to recruit foreign spies to work for the U.S. government. While many factors contributed to my decision on which particular spy to concentrate my efforts, one of the most important was this: where did they show up in the herd? In general, the ones who raced ahead of the others, or lagged behind, were the easiest to isolate, analyze, and pick off. The hardest groups to recruit were those who ran with the pack because they were surrounded with other like-minded individuals who covered each other’s back.
While there is no “right” place to be, there are several wrong reasons to be in that place.
People who run ahead of the crowd are often innovators and leaders; but they can also be greedy and arrogant. The middle bulge consists of those who either experience connectedness through collaboration with others; but they can also be saving time by relying on groupthink for direction. Followers tend to be observers of human nature who sifted through the collective wisdom and applied it to their own situations; but they can also be lazy and critical.
We can apply this understanding of crowds in a couple of ways:
1. Do you use groupthink as a way to save time?
The collective wisdom of a crowd can create value and save time. This is the true essence of collaboration. But history is full of examples of poor choices made because of groupthink—Nazi Germany, the Salem witch trials, and mob violence, to name a few. It’s simple a matter of saying, “Others are doing it so it must be OK.” Groupthink is not collaboration.
TIP:
- Collect information from all points of view.
- Don’t be a victim of disinformation or prejudice from one particular group.
- Take the time to double check your facts.
2. Do you move away from crowds for the right reason?
You can only thrive in a group if you’re not dependent on it. Self-knowledge and autonomy are essential to be a healthy and contributing member of a crowd.
TIP:
- Stop grazing and skimming information on important topics.
- Pick an area in which to become an expert. If you’re not sure what that topic may be, go to a bookstore and pay attention to the sections that interest you.
- Read up on it. Share your knowledge with others. If you don’t, you can’t add to the collective wisdom of the group.
“Men, it has been said, think in herds; it will be seen that they go mad in herds, while they only recover their senses slowly, one by one.”
Charles Mackay, Scottish historian
Take Away
You can surrender to the crowd and allow it lead you around by the nose, or you can step back and enrich your own experience by thinking for yourself.
Where are you being influenced by groupthink?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: Centers for Disease Control, collaboration, collective wisdom, crowds, FBI, smoking teens
Posted in decision making, personal achievement, persuasion, self development | No Comments »
Tuesday, August 24th, 2010
Bristol Palin and Mama have done it again, just when we thought they had both turned a new chapter in life it turns out it was all just a rehearsal for more of the same. The Bristol-Levi show has always been a minor sideshow in the drama that is the Palin family, but it threatens to overshadow the main event as Mama prepares to refine her political campaign from looks and attitude to—well, more of the same. It feels as though we’re sitting here, two years later, watching a rerun of a pilot series that didn’t quite make it through the fall season.
Two years later and Bristol was back with Levi, if only for a short time, this time insisting that he get his high school diploma and not rely on a career posing for Playgirl. Sarah was also back, collecting political chits through endorsements and fundraising, this time without the powder-puff hairdo—and this we can only hope—without the winks.
How do we end up in a rut and keep repeating the same mistakes? Bristol and Sarah aren’t the only ones—we’ve all been there. Sometimes it’s very hard to leave the past behind so we fall back onto behaviors that we’re comfortable with, even though they haven’t served us well. Better the devil you know than the one you don’t . . .
The psychological baggage we carry through life is sticky stuff that won’t rub off without a lot of work. Experts will tell you that no one gets out of the playground without a few psychological scars and they can add up over time. After awhile, we get used to carrying around the extra weight and may even cease to be aware of it.
As an FBI undercover agent, my job was to recruit foreign spies to work for the U.S. government. I worked with the FBI Behavioral Science Unit and one of my first objectives was to determine the emotional and psychological baggage that the targets of my investigation were carrying with them.
Checked Luggage or Carry-On?
It’s one thing to be saddled with luggage that comes from deep scars that are tough to unload. It’s another to haul it around as carry-on simply because we don’t want to take the time to sort through it, look at it honestly in the face, and unpack what isn’t working for us anymore.
What is your most important carry-on item? The mind-set you bring with you. When you’ve made a mistake, what can you learn from it? OK, it can be embarrassing to make a mistake, but it’s more embarrassing to repeat it.
Got it, Sarah?
What You Don’t Know Really Can Hurt You
Individuals who understand themselves are better able to interpret their responses. They can see negative patterns and change their behavior to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
Information makes you savvy. What you don’t know about yourself can hurt you as you unpack the carry-on luggage you don’t need. You can be caught unaware—isn’t that why you always pack too much—and left unable to cope with the unexpected in life.
Understand, Bristol?
If Only You Could See Yourself
Have you ever seen a photo of yourself and cringed? You scream, “I don’t look like that!” And yet, you did look exactly like that at the moment the photo was taken. It’s natural to desire a flattering image, but sightings of yourself as you appear to others are not always pleasant. Try these tactics:
Notice when another person unintentionally mirrors you. Family, close friends, and colleagues are good sources. A glimpse of yourself might happen when someone expresses an opinion in a similar way or uses an expression that you’ve used in the past. Is this an attractive image for you? Another opportunity for an accidental sighting of yourself is when people intentionally imitate you. Does it present the image you want to maintain?
This one applies to both Bristol and Mama.
TIP: Think about and relive those moments when you responded in ways that made you stand straighter and with more dignity. You drew from a well that is deep and untapped. You got it right before; you can do it again.
“If I had my life to live over . . . I’d dare to make more mistakes next time.”
Nadine Stair
Take Away
Maps are charted through a series of mistakes. Trial and error makes it possible to plot exact directions for your destination. You’ll never find your way unless you know which road NOT to take.
What “mistake” has ultimately led you on a better path?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: BristolPalin, FBI, FBI Behavioral Science Unit, mistakes, psychological baggage, Sarah Palin
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Monday, August 16th, 2010
When a Jet Blue flight attendant grabbed a couple of beers, took a step, and slid out from under the humdrum routine of his job last week, it sparked fantasies among more than a few of us—in the back recesses of our dark little minds—of doing the same thing. We experienced guilty pleasure, but only from a safe distance, because you and I are the lucky ones to have a job, even if that means an idiot for a boss or a lousy commute.
The story about Steven Slater and his response to a passenger on a Jet Blue flight that swore at him and hit his forehead with the door of an overhead compartment has hit a nerve with many of us. We’ve all felt the exasperation that comes from not being heard, not being appreciated, and not being respected.
Part of us root for the underdog here, but there’s a reason we keep those thoughts in the dark recesses of our mind. The point at which we let a negative emotion control our behavior is not a pretty picture. It leads to responses that are both unattractive and destructive. In the worst scenario it can lead to violence; even in the best, it leads to broken relationships.
My bet is that tension had been building up inside Steven Slater for a long time. Like all of us, he could choose how to respond to the frustrating and insulting situation on Jet Blue. He chose a knee-jerk reaction that cost him his dignity and his job. But he could have taken the high road, instead of a meltdown that led to the road to unemployment, if he had taken the time to realize that his response could have been predicted, and therefore, changed. By looking at similar situations in the past, and discovering his patterns of behavior, he could have recognized the undesirable ones before they sabotaged his career, and chosen a better alternative.
In FBI firearms training, we were taught to control our surrounding circumstances by predicting our own response to the situation—or threat, because a threat can come in many different sizes and shapes. If we can predict our response, we can choose the best alternative.
1. Ask, Can I Get Feedback from Others?
In firearms, we had instructors watching our every move and they never backed off for a minute in letting us know exactly when we screwed up, how we did it, and what we could have done differently. FBI firearms training does not end after five months at the academy in Quantico; agents are required to qualify at least four times a year for the rest of their career. Instructors observed us and prepared us so we could predict our response in a real situation.
TIP: Ask a trusted friend or colleague to give you honest feedback when you’re confronted with a contentious situation. Pinpoint the moment when you felt a negative emotion influencing your response and then ask yourself, “What could I have done differently?”
2. Ask, What Kind of Feedback Do I Need?
What is it that you need at this point in your journey? It’s tempting to seek out a comforting voice when we’re in the middle of conflict, and there are times when that’s exactly what we need. There are other times when a visionary is what you may need to help you see the bigger picture; or a detail person to help you grasp the importance of a simple gesture or word; and a cynic can be a great asset when preparing for criticism.
TIP: Develop relationships with people similar to yourself, and those unlike you, because both can be valuable instructors to help you see yourself more clearly in various types of situations.
2. Ask, How Valid is that Person’s Perspective?
No matter how many times an agent goes to firearms, if the instructor’s advice goes in one ear and out the other, it’s not going to help in a critical situation. If you reject the image that is being offered to you by those who have observed you in action, you won’t develop alternative responses, and the same pattern of behavior will continue.
TIP: If you’re trying to see your external self more clearly, you must be willing to deepen your self-awareness and self-knowledge.
“What lies behind us and what lies ahead of us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.”
Henry David Thoreau
Take Away
If you can predict your response, you can choose better alternatives.
How has the ability to predict your reaction to a stressful situation helped you to control your response to it?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: choices, FBI, FBI firearms training, flight attendant, Jet Blue Airways, predicting behavior, Steven Slater
Posted in decision making, personal achievement, persuasion, self development | 1 Comment »
Wednesday, August 11th, 2010
All of a sudden, spies are popular. They’ve infiltrated Facebook and are pushing lawn mowers across America as they steal the secrets that make us a great and powerful country. Even Hollywood jumped into the mix with an Angelina Jolie spy thriller called “Salt,” about a CIA operative accused of being a Russian double agent.
The Russian spy ring has grabbed our attention for a number of reasons. One of them is that Americans have always loved stories about little people who outwit big government. They remind us that anyone can push through adversity and overcome obstacles if they’re resilient and strong.
When I was going through the FBI Academy at the age of 25, one of the physical fitness requirements was to dive off a 50 feet diving board while holding an M16, and then swim to the other side of the pool with the gun. I had two problems: I was afraid of heights and I couldn’t swim. As my training class and instructors waited for me to jump, I seriously doubted that in real life I’d ever need to jump into a pool of water with a M16 while chasing a suspect. This was something I had to do, however, to graduate from the Academy, so I plunged in and bounced back up to the surface—still holding the gun—and then floundered until I made the other side.
It wasn’t until a few years later that I realized the swimming pool requirement had nothing to do with superior law enforcement techniques. Instead, it taught me that those who keep their back straight when confronted with uncomfortable challenges inspire others around them. Everyone knew I was afraid of the jump, but it was something that I needed to do with honesty, and integrity. Once I took the plunge, the by-product was respect—first from the others, and also from myself.
By becoming more aware of how you’ve gotten through the knocks that life has thrown your way thus far, you can discover what to fall back on when they happen again.
Create a Personal Surveillance Log
Surveillance logs are invaluable tools used by FBI agents to learn more about the habits of the individual under investigation. In this case, you are observing yourself.
1. Start your own surveillance log by taking a few minutes to think back over situations that were difficult for you. Jot your thoughts down in a notebook. Start with childhood and move into work and relationships. List them. Every life change has brought its share of difficulties; you initiated some of them while others were outside your sphere of control.
2. Under each difficulty or adversity that you’ve faced, list the good things that came from it.
3. Pick three of the most difficult situations.
- Ask yourself what you did to cope?
- Identify which strengths you relied upon. Were they hidden strengths?
- How did you overcome obstacles and fears?
4. You are now aware of which situations have called you to draw upon your strengths—sometimes hidden—and how they have provided you the courage to get where you are today.
TIP: Remember, you are stronger than you think, or you wouldn’t be here.
“Our greatest glory consists not in never failing, but in rising every time we fall.”
Oliver Goldsmith
Take Away
Becoming aware of how you’ve dealt with the hard knocks in the past will help you understand what strengths to fall back on when obstacles show up in the future.
What’s your secret to overcoming obstacles?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: adversity, FBI, FBI academy, Russian spy ring
Posted in decision making, personal achievement, Russian spy ring, self development, spies | 1 Comment »
Monday, August 9th, 2010
Spy movies come in two forms: Ian Fleming 007 violence or John le Carre melancholy realism. In both genre’s, however, it is the look and feel of the movie that offer so much texture to the experience, not the words. The way that James Bond looks at a woman; the way George Smiley nods his head. The meaning of their messages doesn’t need to be explained. We can observe—and more importantly, interpret—the meaning of each non-verbal communication.
Alas, real life spies aren’t always as clever at recognizing the dangers around them as those in the movies. The Russian spy ring lived in America among the neighbors who didn’t suspect anything out of the ordinary. And yet, the FBI had surrounded them with undercover agents and human informants for over ten years.
On July 24th, 2010 Russia’s Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin said that he had met with the Russian agents swapped in an exchange with the U.S. He expressed his admiration for them and said that they had a very tough life in America. Not only did they have to master a foreign language as their own, he said, they also had to think and act like foreigners.
Secret agents can be taught to say the right thing, but it’s much more difficult to teach them to feel and react in a way that doesn’t betray their true inner feelings. This is how we know a good actor from a great one: they can convey the complexity of their feelings through body language, without having to say a word.
As an FBI agent, I was trained to observe—and interpret—non-verbal gestures. There are many books on how to read body language but I’m going to share with you only those tips I learned from the FBI and other law enforcement agencies.
The FBI study of body language begins with two generalizations.
Norming
“Norming” refers to acquainting yourself with the person’s normal pattern of gestures. This means taking time before beginning a discussion in critical areas to determine how the person reacts in a normal conversation. Many people punctuate with constant gestures and movement while others are relatively still. They key is to notice how these gestures change during a conversation.
For example, if Aunt Mabel scratches her nose while talking about her childhood, it may mean nothing. However, if she breaks eye contact, rubs her nose, and raises her eyebrows, those clusters of activity indicate that a critical area in the conversation has been reached—at least for her.
Physiological Signs
 - Image by goron via Flickr
The head shows the most expressive body language characteristics. Here are some physiological signs that can be easily observed:
- Blushing—a sign of reaction to your conversation
- Carotid pulse—arteries in the neck that will visibly pulse when under stress
- Larynx—the Adam’s apple will start to bounce under stress
The Eyes Have It
As a general rule, breaks in eye contact are the most important non-verbal gesture. Here are some other examples:
- Closing the eyes
- Covering the eyes
- Glancing at watch
- Showing intense interest in fingernails
- Looking out the window or at the floor
- Avoid looking you in the eye during the moment of deception
- Rapid eye movement
- Raising eyebrows
This is a very partial list and we’ll be looking at more signs in the weeks and months to come.
TIP: Look for clusters of activity that can indicate deception or that a critical area in the conversation has been reached.
The eyes believe themselves; the ears believe other people.
German Proverb
Take Away
People will reveal what they feel through non-verbal gestures regardless of what they say.
What non-verbal behaviors have you noticed in people?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy.
Tags: communication, FBI, non-verbal, Russian spy ring, secret agents, spies
Posted in communication, personal achievement, persuasion, Russian spy ring, secret agents, self development, spies | 3 Comments »
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010
The talent of eavesdropping is greatly underappreciated. There are so many important, and really interesting, things we can learn if we pay attention to the conversations around us—particularly those we’re involved in. Listening is hard work and few of us know how to listen really well.
FBI agents used covert techniques such as wiretaps, bugging devices, and surveillance to collect information about the dirty dozen—the 12 Russians identified as spies in June 2010. Covert techniques are effective because the information gathered is unfiltered—that is, it’s candid and unrehearsed. It allows the FBI to catch a spy unaware; in other words, in honest communication.
Is it possible for us to eavesdrop on our own conversations?
FBI agents rely on interviews and interrogations, more than any other investigative tool, to gather evidence. The key for the investigator is to know what to look for and how to interpret it. In the same way, you and I can learn how to pick up clues that indicate honesty or deception if we pay attention to the body language and pick up clues in the way our questions are answered. We can train ourselves to recognize honest answers from the people we work with and live around if we are patient, attentive, and know what to look for. We can prevent ourselves from being persuaded to act or respond in ways that aren’t in our best interests. New research shows that after only a few moments of careful observation we can reach surprisingly accurate conclusions about strangers. The trick is to know how.
One of the first lessons I learned as an FBI agent was to follow the rule of clusters and not jump to unwarranted conclusions on the basis of one piece of evidence. All you can do is make an informed guess based on the information you gather. These are a few examples:
Generally, Deceptive People Tend to Give More Verbal Signs
- Stress usually increases the speed of speech.
- A stressed person may also talk louder.
- Cracking in the natural tone of the voice often occurs at the point of deception.
- Coughing and clearing the throat are good signs of tension at the point when they occur.
The Way the Word “NO” is Used Can Be a Treasure Mine
A person is most likely showing deceptive behavior when they:
- Say “no” and look in a different direction (upward, downward, etc)
- Say “no” and close their eyes.
- Say “no” after a hesitation.
- Say “noooooooo” stretched over a long period of time.
- Say “no” in a singsong manner.
Too Much of Anything is Too-Much
Be wary of someone who’s trying too hard to make a good impression.
- Emphasizing respect for your qualities and talents
- Forming a mutual bond by reminding you of common friends and activities you share
- Offering lots of praise and pleasantries
- Laughing at all your jokes (a sure give-away)
Watch for Changes in Behavior
A person is hiding something from you if they:
>Experience sudden lapses in memory at critical times even though they’ve been alert in earlier conversation
>Answer questions with small crumbs of information
>Move into a more formal way of speaking which can indicate that the conversation is hitting a point of stress for them
This is a partial list. We’ll be looking at more of them in future blog posts.
TIP: If you feel deep down that someone is lying, jot down the details and ask the following question:
- What is the motivation for a lie?
- What word or conversation triggered your concern?
- What other signs are you noticing that would support your theory?
The most common sort of lie is the one uttered to himself.
Nietzsche
Take Away
No one behavior by itself indicates deception, but the way a person responds is your best way to determine whether they’re being persuasive, manipulative, or deceptive.
Follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: body language, FBI, persuasion, Russian spy ring, speech, verbal response
Posted in Lifestyle, personal achievement, persuasion, Russian spy ring, secret agents, self development, spies | No Comments »
Friday, July 30th, 2010
An image of the FBI making an arrest gets our attention. We sit up a little straighter as we look to see whether the criminal is someone we know—or, for some of us, maybe a relative. We cheer for the good guys and feel good about our tax dollars being put to good use.
Most people go into a mild shock when they’re arrested. It’s a traumatic experience even for a hardened criminal. When the mild-mannered Russian spies were arrested in June 2010, it was unexpected, and therefore, sent shockwaves through the jail cells of the would-be secret agents like a tsunami washes over a beach. It didn’t take long for all of them to plead guilty and settle for deportation.
A sudden shock gets our attention. I call it the Theory of Inoculation because inoculations get the attention of our body’s immune system by introducing a small dose of the disease. This jolts the body into action and antibodies are produced to protect us against further infection. In the same way, an extreme suggestion can introduce an idea that is initially so shocking that we welcome “middle ground” as a desirable alternative.
This is a technique used with great success by retailers, ex-spouses, and terrorists. I ran across this letter and think it gives a perfect example of how extreme suggestions can work in the way we communicate ideas:
Dear Mom and Dad,
Since I left for college, many things have happened. I apologize for not writing sooner, but you’ve been in my thoughts. Please, do not cry until you’ve read my entire letter but you had better prepare yourself by sitting down.
First, my jail sentence went by faster than I expected. The food wasn’t that bad, really, and I felt lucky that I lost only 50 pounds. Being female, I didn’t know what to expect but my cellmate was a businesswoman named Sugar and she’s offered me a regular job with her escort service. She assures me that I’ll be escorting very nice gentlemen to innocent parties and not to worry about the nasty rumors. I’m not sure what she means, but she says she’s got a great lawyer.
While in jail I met the man of my dreams. He’s out on parole now and we’ve found a wonderful little cubbyhole under the Golden Gate Bridge to live in until he finds a proper job. He’s an enterprising young man and I know you’ll like him. For example, he’s up and going through the trash bins before anyone else in the area! Yes, I’m homeless right now and although my boyfriend thinks I should take up Sugar’s offer on employment, I’m worried that my pregnancy will not make me a desirable escort.
Yes, I’m going to have a baby! And as soon as my boyfriend’s infection clears up, we’ll get our blood tests and have a real wedding. I know you’ll welcome him with open arms and perhaps even help him find a job. You should also know that he never graduated from high school, but he has high ambitions.
Now that you have all the news worth telling, I want to tell you that I didn’t get arrested, I didn’t lose 50 pounds, I’m not thinking of going to work for Sugar, I didn’t meet a boyfriend in jail, I’m not homeless, and I’m not pregnant. I am, however, getting a D in economics, which wouldn’t be so bad but it is, unfortunately, my major. I wanted you to see this in proper perspective.
Your loving daughter,
Lori
Yes, there are times when the middle ground can seem like a gift from heaven.
For the Russian spies, the extreme suggestion of jail made the middle ground of deportation sound like a good deal.
Tip: Extreme suggestions, or the inoculation theory, rely on fear of the unknown. This is a persuasion technique that is very effective. You are much less vulnerable to manipulation by others if you can pinpoint the following:
- What grabbed your attention?
- What fear is triggered?
- What has your response been to this same type of fear in other situations?
- Has that response served you well?
“He who knows others is learned. He who knows himself is wise.”
Lao Tzu
Take Away
Pay attention to what fears grab your attention and your response to them.
When have you felt manipulated into accepting “middle ground” as a good alternative?
You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy
Tags: communication, FBI, personal achievement, persuasion, Russia, self development
Posted in personal achievement, persuasion, Russian spy ring, self development | No Comments »
Tuesday, July 27th, 2010
Thomas L. Friedman recently commented in a New York Times editorial that it was not an honor to be spied upon by a country as broken-down as Russia. I’m hoping the 11 Russians charged as sleeper spies in America didn’t read it; they might have felt insulted by Friedman’s assertions that Russia is no longer our peer, except in nuclear weapons that are not likely to ever be used. Can his words persuade us that America has nothing of value to lose to the Russians?
I worked as an FBI counterintelligence and undercover agent for twenty years. I agree with Mr. Friedman that Russia cannot steal America’s commitment to individual freedom, rules of law, and a culture that celebrates immigrants and innovators. I also agree with other columnists and writers who question why Russia would spend so much money on 12 sleeper spies who accomplished so little during their decade-long presence in America.
But I also think Mr. Friedman and others are naïve in their understanding of Russia’s intelligence gathering operations in America and elsewhere in the world. And they’re spreading this naïveté to unsuspecting readers who trust journalists and reporters to educate them on newsworthy events of the day.
Here is an example:
It’s known that some of the sleeper spies made contact with prominent academicians and politicians. No classified, or even proprietary, information exchanged hands. Rather than talk to experts in counterintelligence who could help interpret these actions, journalists dismissed the not-so-secret spies as inept. They wrote from their own limited understanding of how spies operate, and spread that misunderstanding to readers.
Although sleeper spies are an expensive and time-consuming way to go, let me explain the rationale behind at least some of it. The Obama Administration relies heavily upon experts attached to universities, think tanks, and research centers to help them form foreign policy. Many times, these academicians are given classified clearances so they can be thoroughly briefed on a political situation. They are then tasked with providing their expertise so the administration can make more informed foreign policy decisions. Just knowing how these experts think and view an area critical to Russia could provide the spies with an idea of “which way the wind was blowing.”
Mr. Friedman is an opinion leader because many people read his column and trust his conclusions. He gets you to thinking, albeit to his way of thinking. And therein lies the danger of opinion leaders: they are powerful persuaders because they appeal to the way you make sense of the world:
- Opinion leaders are seen as authorities. There is very little difference in the methods used by politicians, newspaper editors, and religious leaders.
- It’s easier to let them do the thinking for you. You trust them to sort through complicated issues and provide you with an accurate summary to you can make decisions.
- Whether or not they’re trying to manipulate you per se, they may cause you to suspend your natural skepticism and “go with the flow.”
TIP:
- Be skeptical. Avoid putting yourself in a situation where someone else is 1) telling you what to think, and 2) why to think it.
- Be curious. Even though it may take a little more time, gather your own facts.
- Be selective. You can’t be an expert in everything, so decide which areas are more important and focus your energies there.
“A desk is a dangerous place from which to view the world.”
John le Carre
Take Away
Take notice of the experts whose advice and opinions you take on face value. They may not be as informed as they appear.
Who are the opinion leaders that you rely on?
This is the fifth blog in a series of 10 Tips for a Russian Spy Ring.
You can also follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/LaRaeQuy/
Tags: counterintelligence, Espionage, FBI, New York Times, opinion leaders, persuasion, Russia, Russian spy ring, Thomas Friedman, undercover agent
Posted in decision making, opinion leaders, personal achievement, persuasion, Russian spy ring, secret agents, self development, spies | 2 Comments »
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